ok, so I want out. I've made an action plan. I've made these before, when he's been physically, mentally or financially abusive, and never stuck to them, but this has pushed me over the edge and I'm hoping that by putting it on here, I might be more likely to stick to it.
Reasons, other then the abuse, I have given him a clear choice, its me and the kids or the pub, therefore, still having contact with her. he avoids the question, gets mad and then goes to the pub. I realise now, probably 4 years too late, that all I am doing by sticking with him, Is hurting myself, and allowing him to hurt me.
1) No contact starting Wednesday 15th may. I've no contact since this morning, and want to keep it that way.
I will not be telling him as he is a diagnosed skitzo(again sorry no idea how to spell it!), and letting him know my intentions will just encourage him to contact me, and further his harassment campaign.
2) Do things for me. I've already bought new underwear and have a lady coming round Friday to cut my hair. may seem simple, but this the first time my hair will have been cut in 3 years, as he deemed it an unnecessary expense. I will buy myself a new outfit, as I cant remember the last time I did this.
3) slowly build up my confidence, and learn that it is ok for it to be just me and the kids. I have been in non stop serious relationships since 16.
4) I will concentrate on school in the hope of providing a better future for my girls.
5) I am going to see my specialist doctor tomorrow, to work out a way to better manage my illness, with a view to getting a job in the near future.
I will stick to this this time. (just saying it again so it sticks in my head!)
[This message edited by dontknowanymore1 at 5:54 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)]
dday 7th may 2013
together 4 1/2 years
status want out
How can you love what you cant trust?