I took off the last several days of work to get his shit packed and out of the house (we have a trailer we use for storage and I took everything out of it in order to put his stuff in it). First, I kept thinking this is absolute BS that I am physically killing myself doing this (he is a hoarder and has a lot of crap). My back went out, I am covered in bruises, and simply exhausted after five days of this. All the while he is doing nothing. I keep telling myself it is the big picture of getting his shit out of the house that is important, even at my expense. But during all this I was dwelling on everything that has happened and I can't stop wondering what I have done to deserve both this and his obvious hatred after all our years together. I know. He is broken, I didn't do anything, and there will never be an explanation. But that doesn't stop me from dwelling on it. I gave that rat bastard the best years of my life and here I am at almost 50 years old with nothing to show for working 30 years because of him and faced with starting over. What the hell did I do to deserve this? I just don't understand, and it really puts me in despair. Just a really bad night after five horrifically exhausting days... God this sucks...
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
