It's up now.
She seems remorseful. Although, she says it only happened once. Not sure I believe that. Not sure I care anymore.
I was cruel to her at first. Now I'm not. This scares her more. She knows I'm ready to move on. She's desperate to reconcile. desperate. Lot of crying, pleading. I'm tired of that.
We have money. I'm ready to retire. I want to travel. I want to be with someone who hasn't cheated on me. Someone who isn't "broke."
She's been a good wife and mother. I'm prepared to give her more than half of everything (she doesn't work).
I'm just thinking of closing this chapter. I haven't because folks here suggested I wait 6 months or so to make a decision.
Anyway, I'm tired. I'm tired of all this..
Sometimes an A is a deal breaker and that's ok...
I decided to take my own road and left the ex when I simply got too tired of the shit sandwich...
6 months for some works... Do what works for you...
do what is right for.
How can you love what you cant trust?
The constant thinking, fretting, worrying, obsessing, looking for clues, seeking reassurance, dealing with triggers, questioning yourself, question the WS, worrying about the kids, the finances, etc. TOO MUCH
So I totally understand where you are coming from.
I am in R but there have been times where I wanted to give up just to know what I am dealing with (starting over) and giving myself a break from trying to figure it all out. BLAH...it just feels BLAH...
6 months is a guideline. If you have any love left for your WW and you believe she can be honest with you is IC and MC an option? Just so YOU are sure.
Good luck Mike. We are all rooting for you.
For some, infidelity is an instant deal breaker though. What you decide is ultimately up to you however. We're here regardless.
One quick thought. Even if you file for D, there are always ways to stop the process, or decide to R afterwards.
Rereading my post, , I really probably haven't given you any advice, just stated options. Damn, sorry brother.
Have you thought about a separation before you start divorce proceedings; your wife is terrified of the marriage ending, so maybe give yourselves one last opportunity to find out if this feeling you have is permanent. She was a good wife and mother and giving her this small chance is some kindness.
A lot of the problem was virtually catching them in the act at your own house, in your own bed. Total lack of respect which is difficult to forgive and forget.
i'm with you Wondering Bull.
Oknow, thanks for your insight. i've already thought of those things. i'm not one of those BH's that live's in unicorn land with a princess.
wish you all a good weekend. do something fun.