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Newest Member: Saad (61538)

User Topic: quitting support group
♀ 39102
Member # 39102
What?  Posted: 2:51 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have found the divorce/seperation suppport group in town that I have attended two weeks in a row. I don't know if anyone here has ever tried one of these and found it helpful, but I think it is making me more upset. The women are very nice but I just sit there and get upset listening to all these horror stories. I didn't think I should walk out of a support group terrified but that what is happening. Am I not giving it enough time or is it possibly too early maybe for me to go to this, I don't even know which way my M is going to go. Probably will end but I don't know at this point. Has anyone else expierenced this as far as the support group?

[This message edited by savvy at 2:52 PM, May 16th (Thursday)]

me-BS (52).
2 children 24 and 23
Together 33 years divorced one year
Ow-(30)and she knew me knew he is married.
D-day 1 4/24/2013
D-day 2. 7/9/2013. Day after anniversary
D-day 3. 8/12/13.
Filing for divorce

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: connecticut
♂ 39136
Member # 39136
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am going to see two different counselors (a PhD and a PTSD counselor) on Friday. See if I can decide if I like one more than the other.

However, I don't know if I could do a group session at this stage of the game. There are enough horror stories on SI and they are all in text. I could not imagine trying to process visible anguish in peoples faces and hear the pain in their voices... I think that would be WAY to much for me right now.

I do applaud your efforts to look for some sort of rudder to assist you in the process. Might be time to toss this one aside and go look for another one, especially if you feel the boat you are on is taking down a river not to your liking.

Me: 42 BS
Her: 41 EMA
Married: 16 years
D-Day#1: 04/17/13
D-Day#2: 05/8/13
Children: 9,5 (girls)
Om: High School Flame
"Marital problems doesn't make someone a cheater just like financial problems doesn't make someone a thief"

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Mobile, AL
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never went to a support group IRL but I understand how you feel. I had some of the same feelings when I first joined this site and I would wander into the S/D forum or other forums. It's like other peoples stories would trigger me or make me think of something I hadn't encountered yet or hadn't thought about. I just wasn't ready to face some things yet. Overtime I was ready to read and deal with more and branched out into other groups. I don't know that this directly relates to your situation but I do understand your apprehension and unease about going back.

You can always take a break and go back later if you choose.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 3:04 PM, May 16th (Thursday)]

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 2211 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've personally never attended a support group IRL. You're only close to a month out from your d-day. You are going to be going through a lot of different emotions right now. I know at 1 month out for me I was crying multiple times a day every day. I could hardly function.

I think you should try and stick it out a few more weeks and see how it goes. If you still feel the same then you can always stop going and then return once you feel your in a more stable place to handle this.


Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

Posts: 6121 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Topic Posts: 4

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