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Why is it so hard to understand!

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dontknowanymore1 posted 5/17/2013 14:40 PM

ok, so nc was broke today, cause he was pissing me off with texts, im in the pub come meet me.
Why cant he understand that him being in the pub is not ok for me?
its were it started, its were she works, its were she drinks.
whilst he swears blind shes not there when he goes, and if she were to come in he would just leave (I don't believe him, but even if it were true) why cant he see that just him being there hurts and makes me wanna be sick??
ive tried to explain, and I really don't think it should be this hard to get his head around.

big bunch of flowers delivered this morning,......straight into bin when I found out were he was.

do they not think they have caused enough pain, without doing this kind of thing afterwards??

wanttogoforward posted 5/17/2013 15:34 PM

Oh,dka1!
I feel for you... we all spent tons of time trying to get our spouses to understand that since they had an A there needs to be boundaries- have the two of you discussed what those will be?
Have you talked about the consequences of his breaking those boundaries?
What do you think should be done?
If he needs to drink, why THAT pub? why not another one?!
He has triggered you... and needs to grasp that in his mind. Set your boundaries firmly and stick to whatever you say the consequences are!

dontknowanymore1 posted 5/17/2013 15:38 PM

ive told him again and again, I cant be with you if you cant stay away, he doesn't seem bothered, yet still texts he loves me and misses me .
found a great way of coping though, any one want a drink lol.
no lectures, im not drinking much!

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