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Nature_Girl posted 5/17/2013 14:47 PM

How do you split medical costs for the children when you have an enormous income disparity? Presently it's a 50/50 split. I'm unemployed. Have not worked in over a decade. He makes $90k a year. I never made more than $30k. I'll never have the earning power he does. I am one minor disaster or large car/home repair bill from total bankruptcy.

How do you split the costs? Or at the very least, how do you split the billing at the medical provider's business office? Or can you? I'm trying to envision how this will work in the future.

Sad in AZ posted 5/17/2013 14:58 PM

Splitting 50/50 under these circumstances is patently unfair, but I see so many people who do it, I wonder if there is a rule about it?

Most of my M life, I split the bills 50/50 with the X, even though he received twice as much as I did due to his disability pension. After d-day when he was feeling very guilty, I changed it to 1/3 for me and 2/3 for him. This stuck until the D, as we don't have minor kids or any shared expenses any longer.

If there's no legal reason for a 50/50 split and you can get his NPD ass to agree, I'd make it more fair in your favor. You can always revisit if you get a well-paying job.

peacelovetea posted 5/17/2013 16:03 PM

In our state we split everything by the proportion in the child support calculation. So I pay 15% and he pays 85%. At least in theory.

Phoenix1 posted 5/17/2013 16:09 PM

In our state out of pocket medical is 50/50 unless it exceeds $5,000 in a year, then it follows the child support calculation percentage...

Weatherly posted 5/17/2013 16:53 PM

I pay the first $500 in a year, then after that it is split 70/30. He is supposed to pay the larger portion.

ruinedandbroken posted 5/17/2013 17:19 PM

I believe it is 50/50 here regardless, but I'm not 100% sure.

NoLongerWantHim posted 5/17/2013 19:00 PM

I bring the kidlet in, I pay upfront.

He is obligated to reimburse me 95%.

Send a request for reimbursement, a copy of the receipt/cancelled check.

Wait 30 days - file a violation in court.

inconnu posted 5/17/2013 19:34 PM

Most of the medical costs I've had have been for the "child" who turned 18 several weeks before the divorce was final, which meant he didn't factor into the custody agreement at all. And the kids both stayed on their dad's insurance, at no cost to me. So I decided it wasn't a battle I needed to fight, and I've covered the medical costs and not asked for any reimbursement. However, when ex took it upon himself to pay for ds21's asthma meds the last time the prescriptions needed refilled, you sure didn't see me complaining.

Kajem posted 5/17/2013 19:47 PM

He covers the kids insurance. His insurance has a copay, we split that.

Dr's here will not bill him his half. I have to pay, and wait for him to reimburse me. I'm still waiting.

Get what you can upfront.. and remember that enforcement also costs money. So pick your court battles carefully.

Hugs,

K

homewrecked2011 posted 5/18/2013 17:53 PM

I pay the first $250, then it's 70/30 I think.

I have to be honest, my children's counselor gave me a form for Snap (food stamps) and Medicaid. It's based on YOUR household income. THey won't have to be on it forever, but for now I have to do it to survive. I am hoping to go back to school and get a pell grant and student loan. I will take online clases this summer (to be home) and I will use the SL $ for my house payment for 3 months. Then, I gotta find a job or some children to watch here in the fall.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 5:53 PM, May 18th (Saturday)]

torn2bits posted 5/18/2013 19:50 PM

NG, where is your CS. In my state all is 50/50, however, before that the income of both houses is equalized.

I make a good living, but he makes more. I received child support from him according to the calculation that my L and the judge agreed to making our household incomes almost equal.

I can pay for the kids, etc. Child support is auto withdrwan from his paycheck into my bank acct.

If you don't have temp orders for CS, get them. I haven't paid my L in a year because her portion is coming from his retirement withdrwal and bot attorneys are being paid from that.

I don't know if you have that. You should be able to pay for your kids from CS, which is separate from mortgage, etc.

I have the court order because my SAWH is NPD!

Nature_Girl posted 5/18/2013 20:01 PM

STBX is fighting CS as well as SS. Right now he's paying a very small amount of monthly support while the divorce is in process. He had his lawyer rake me over the coals in court to prove I haven't squandered the money (thank goodness I had an intuition he would do this & printed out a report ahead of time!). The amount of monthly support he's been paying has not been enough for me and the children to live off of, but still I'm accused of wasting it. Meanwhile he sends money off to his convicted felon OW and pays for expensive trips, jewelry, hobbies & dating websites. But let me send him an invoice for medical bills for the kids? Fuck me, he won't pay. I can't get food stamps or welfare until we're fucking divorced because his income is so fucking high. I tried, I got turned down.

His lawyer mocked my desire to return to college, finish out a degree so I could have a career that pays more than minimum wage.

I have a feeling this is all going to end very, very badly for me & the children.

hexed posted 5/18/2013 23:58 PM

Don't let his lawyer intimidate you. The courts want you to get a job. they don't want you on welfare. They won't look kindly on that.

My SO has to provide medical insurance for the kids. They split any unreimbursed expenses as a ration of their respective incomes. Whomever pays the bill gets reimbursed with in 30 days.