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Newest Member: hstones (61101)

User Topic: Splitting medical costs for children w/ income disparity
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you split medical costs for the children when you have an enormous income disparity? Presently it's a 50/50 split. I'm unemployed. Have not worked in over a decade. He makes $90k a year. I never made more than $30k. I'll never have the earning power he does. I am one minor disaster or large car/home repair bill from total bankruptcy.

How do you split the costs? Or at the very least, how do you split the billing at the medical provider's business office? Or can you? I'm trying to envision how this will work in the future.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Splitting 50/50 under these circumstances is patently unfair, but I see so many people who do it, I wonder if there is a rule about it?

Most of my M life, I split the bills 50/50 with the X, even though he received twice as much as I did due to his disability pension. After d-day when he was feeling very guilty, I changed it to 1/3 for me and 2/3 for him. This stuck until the D, as we don't have minor kids or any shared expenses any longer.

If there's no legal reason for a 50/50 split and you can get his NPD ass to agree, I'd make it more fair in your favor. You can always revisit if you get a well-paying job.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25300 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♀ 26071
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In our state we split everything by the proportion in the child support calculation. So I pay 15% and he pays 85%. At least in theory.

D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
♀ 38928
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In our state out of pocket medical is 50/50 unless it exceeds $5,000 in a year, then it follows the child support calculation percentage...

BS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - 2 adult DDs - DS20 Deceased
Happily divorced!

~Indifference - Because some people do not deserve your emotions.~

I edit often because my tablet is possessed!

Posts: 4779 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Land of Indifference
♀ 18222
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I pay the first $500 in a year, then after that it is split 70/30. He is supposed to pay the larger portion.

Me-32 ,Two boys, 13 and 11

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.

Posts: 4716 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Georgia
♀ 29250
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I believe it is 50/50 here regardless, but I'm not 100% sure.

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1622 | Registered: Aug 2010
♀ 19934
Member # 19934
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bring the kidlet in, I pay upfront.

He is obligated to reimburse me 95%.

Send a request for reimbursement, a copy of the receipt/cancelled check.

Wait 30 days - file a violation in court.

Me & the kids are having the malignancy removed.

If I went to Hogwarts, my Patronus would be my Big Sister - GWADW

Posts: 4123 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Where I want to be, on the road to the future
♀ 24518
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Most of the medical costs I've had have been for the "child" who turned 18 several weeks before the divorce was final, which meant he didn't factor into the custody agreement at all. And the kids both stayed on their dad's insurance, at no cost to me. So I decided it wasn't a battle I needed to fight, and I've covered the medical costs and not asked for any reimbursement. However, when ex took it upon himself to pay for ds21's asthma meds the last time the prescriptions needed refilled, you sure didn't see me complaining.

When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch. - Bette Davis

Posts: 13012 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He covers the kids insurance. His insurance has a copay, we split that.

Dr's here will not bill him his half. I have to pay, and wait for him to reimburse me. I'm still waiting.

Get what you can upfront.. and remember that enforcement also costs money. So pick your court battles carefully.



I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I pay the first $250, then it's 70/30 I think.

I have to be honest, my children's counselor gave me a form for Snap (food stamps) and Medicaid. It's based on YOUR household income. THey won't have to be on it forever, but for now I have to do it to survive. I am hoping to go back to school and get a pell grant and student loan. I will take online clases this summer (to be home) and I will use the SL $ for my house payment for 3 months. Then, I gotta find a job or some children to watch here in the fall.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 5:53 PM, May 18th (Saturday)]

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child.
Dday 12/19/11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!
D final10/30/2012

Posts: 4087 | Registered: Jan 2012
♀ 28376
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG, where is your CS. In my state all is 50/50, however, before that the income of both houses is equalized.

I make a good living, but he makes more. I received child support from him according to the calculation that my L and the judge agreed to making our household incomes almost equal.

I can pay for the kids, etc. Child support is auto withdrwan from his paycheck into my bank acct.

If you don't have temp orders for CS, get them. I haven't paid my L in a year because her portion is coming from his retirement withdrwal and bot attorneys are being paid from that.

I don't know if you have that. You should be able to pay for your kids from CS, which is separate from mortgage, etc.

I have the court order because my SAWH is NPD!

Me: 45/WH (SA): 49
M: 26 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce halted

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STBX is fighting CS as well as SS. Right now he's paying a very small amount of monthly support while the divorce is in process. He had his lawyer rake me over the coals in court to prove I haven't squandered the money (thank goodness I had an intuition he would do this & printed out a report ahead of time!). The amount of monthly support he's been paying has not been enough for me and the children to live off of, but still I'm accused of wasting it. Meanwhile he sends money off to his convicted felon OW and pays for expensive trips, jewelry, hobbies & dating websites. But let me send him an invoice for medical bills for the kids? Fuck me, he won't pay. I can't get food stamps or welfare until we're fucking divorced because his income is so fucking high. I tried, I got turned down.

His lawyer mocked my desire to return to college, finish out a degree so I could have a career that pays more than minimum wage.

I have a feeling this is all going to end very, very badly for me & the children.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't let his lawyer intimidate you. The courts want you to get a job. they don't want you on welfare. They won't look kindly on that.

My SO has to provide medical insurance for the kids. They split any unreimbursed expenses as a ration of their respective incomes. Whomever pays the bill gets reimbursed with in 30 days.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 9596 | Registered: Apr 2008
Topic Posts: 13

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