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Newest Member: ChrissyMc (61787)

User Topic: It's final... the judgement came today.
♀ 39193
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I mailed our co-petition divorce papers last Wednesday. Seriously, the 8th of May. There is no waiting period in Oregon but I was told it would take 2-3 weeks, as long as there were no issues with the papers.

Today, in the mail..... final judgement entered and we are legally divorced as of Tuesday the 14th.

I have no idea how I feel about this..... I was in shock when I opened it, since it came so fast, then I cried... then I wanted to call him... then I was angry again because WHY did he have to cause this? WHY did he have to be so cruel, so faithless, so utterly remorseless while he killed all my dreams of the future I thought we had together? ... Then I cried some more....

Then... I don't know, I just went sort of numb. This all happened SO fast, it's hard to get my head around it. DDay was April 10, I confronted him April 12. He moved out April 20th- one month ago, tomorrow-, and now we are divorced.

I am just reeling.... And I can't help thinking that when he gets HIS letter, he will be happy. Relieved. So glad to be officially done with the bitch ex-wife he's been emotionally done with for months now. He and OW will probably go out to celebrate his freedom. Maybe they'll start talking about marriage. It's all a bright shiny fresh start for him. New job, new house, new woman. And here I am, alone, thrown away like last week's garbage. Old news, in the old house, with all the shattered pieces of the old life. I just feel so completely UNWANTED. I've been feeling that way since it happened, but seeing it in black and white, from the state... ouch. Just ouch.

[This message edited by gypsybird87 at 9:24 PM, May 17th (Friday)]

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

Posts: 1857 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


xBW~ 37
Two DS~ 9 and 13

Posts: 3120 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, honey. That's just a major whirlwind! Of course you're reeling. Anyone would be.

Be gentle with yourself as you process all of this. Take your time, practice your self care, and let yourself feel whatever surfaces.

We're here for you. ((((gypsybird))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40250 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I've been in your shoes.. whirlwind is right!

Take care of you, hydration.. protein shakes if you can get them down...

It isn't easy... but we are here for you.



I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
♂ 38681
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry. But.... His new beginning started off with cheating, that is not even comparable to your liberty.
There are folks that have their D process drag for excruciating several months, at least that is not your case.

Meet your close friend, relatives, that'll take some pain away. It does get better. Strength.

BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm so sorry. That is a very short amount of time to go through and try to process all of this. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you strength.

Posts: 50922 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 37656
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 3:05 AM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs Gypsybird!!

I can't even imagine, what a whirlwind!! I am so sorry!!! My dday was Nov 25, filed for divorce on 1/8/13, waiting for the date for the voluntary settlement conference, should be divorced by the end of the year, and I thought that was quick!!! Be gentle with yourself, grieve your marriage. One door closes so another one can open.

I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 491 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 4:04 AM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On a good note, at least you did not have to suffer through months of negotiations, offers, counter offers and overall suffering waiting to get officially detached. And after all of that it still took another 8 months for a judge to sign my D decree. The wheels of law turn very slowly here in NY.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 6851 | Registered: Nov 2007
Topic Posts: 9

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