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It's final... the judgement came today.

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gypsybird87 posted 5/17/2013 21:23 PM

I mailed our co-petition divorce papers last Wednesday. Seriously, the 8th of May. There is no waiting period in Oregon but I was told it would take 2-3 weeks, as long as there were no issues with the papers.

Today, in the mail..... final judgement entered and we are legally divorced as of Tuesday the 14th.

I have no idea how I feel about this..... I was in shock when I opened it, since it came so fast, then I cried... then I wanted to call him... then I was angry again because WHY did he have to cause this? WHY did he have to be so cruel, so faithless, so utterly remorseless while he killed all my dreams of the future I thought we had together? ... Then I cried some more....

Then... I don't know, I just went sort of numb. This all happened SO fast, it's hard to get my head around it. DDay was April 10, I confronted him April 12. He moved out April 20th- one month ago, tomorrow-, and now we are divorced.

I am just reeling.... And I can't help thinking that when he gets HIS letter, he will be happy. Relieved. So glad to be officially done with the bitch ex-wife he's been emotionally done with for months now. He and OW will probably go out to celebrate his freedom. Maybe they'll start talking about marriage. It's all a bright shiny fresh start for him. New job, new house, new woman. And here I am, alone, thrown away like last week's garbage. Old news, in the old house, with all the shattered pieces of the old life. I just feel so completely UNWANTED. I've been feeling that way since it happened, but seeing it in black and white, from the state... ouch. Just ouch.

[This message edited by gypsybird87 at 9:24 PM, May 17th (Friday)]

Nature_Girl posted 5/17/2013 21:38 PM


ButterflyGirl posted 5/17/2013 22:16 PM


nowiknow23 posted 5/17/2013 22:21 PM

Oh, honey. That's just a major whirlwind! Of course you're reeling. Anyone would be.

Be gentle with yourself as you process all of this. Take your time, practice your self care, and let yourself feel whatever surfaces.

We're here for you. ((((gypsybird))))

Kajem posted 5/17/2013 22:35 PM


I've been in your shoes.. whirlwind is right!

Take care of you, hydration.. protein shakes if you can get them down...

It isn't easy... but we are here for you.



Happydays posted 5/17/2013 23:55 PM

I am so sorry. But.... His new beginning started off with cheating, that is not even comparable to your liberty.
There are folks that have their D process drag for excruciating several months, at least that is not your case.

Meet your close friend, relatives, that'll take some pain away. It does get better. Strength.

jo2love posted 5/18/2013 00:21 AM


I'm so sorry. That is a very short amount of time to go through and try to process all of this. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you strength.

Dawn58 posted 5/18/2013 03:05 AM

Hugs Gypsybird!!

I can't even imagine, what a whirlwind!! I am so sorry!!! My dday was Nov 25, filed for divorce on 1/8/13, waiting for the date for the voluntary settlement conference, should be divorced by the end of the year, and I thought that was quick!!! Be gentle with yourself, grieve your marriage. One door closes so another one can open.

stronger08 posted 5/18/2013 04:04 AM

On a good note, at least you did not have to suffer through months of negotiations, offers, counter offers and overall suffering waiting to get officially detached. And after all of that it still took another 8 months for a judge to sign my D decree. The wheels of law turn very slowly here in NY.

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