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libertyrocks (original poster member #38924) posted at 3:16 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
Finally cried myself to sleep last night. Hadn't cried in weeks. I think of all those times he wasn't around, the times he didn't want to be around us, the times he told me he didn't care about me, the many times he wouldn't kiss me back, the times I was taking care of our newborns alone, both of them. This continued for 3 years up until 6 months ago.
Things are great now, he's truly remorseful and very supportive now.
I'm still so crushed inside. I think of all those girls he took out and it makes me sick.
Like everyone else I wish this would have never happened.
Guess, I'm having a bad day.
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
GraceisGood ( member #17686) posted at 5:15 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
(((((((((libertyrocks))))))))
Grace
We have a tendency to think the love offered us is a reflection of our worth and value.But in actuality,it's a reflection of the person that is giving it.We love out of who WE are-not because of who the receiver is.At least in terms of real love.TSMF
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 5:42 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
Yes,of course. YOu need lots of virtual hugs today LR!
You have cried yourself to sleep - they are all dry now but I know a million more run inside of you. I get it.
Do something good for you today.
LA
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Patchy ( member #39228) posted at 6:28 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
(((((((libertyrocks))))))))
We feel your pain, girl. Hang in there.
Me BS 44
Him FWS 45
Married 23 Years
DDay 1 July 2012
DDay 2 Christmas Day 2013 same woman
EA with kissing, very strong bond and talk of leaving spouses for each other.
RoadtoPeace ( new member #39141) posted at 6:35 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
(((libertytocks)). God do I know exactly how you feel. All I can say is let the feelings and tears flow through you. We are here for you.
me - BS
him - WH
Married 5 1/2 years
Dday#1 - 10/2009
Dday#2 - 3/2013
Status - He wants R, I am not sure I can get on that ride again
catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 6:38 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
((((libertyrocks)))). What a waste. But the only way to go is forward.
I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 10:17 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
Such a waste of time, wasn't it ... Time that can never be recovered. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 4:18 AM on Sunday, May 19th, 2013
I hear you, honey. I feel that way, too. My SAfWH keeps telling me that he wants to make up for it in our present and future but it's so hard not to have resentment and regret.
Hugs to you. I hope you feel better soon...
Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.
libertyrocks (original poster member #38924) posted at 9:08 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
Hugs and kisses to everyone.
Thank you.
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 9:44 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
Yes, time he wasted---
(((LR)))
[This message edited by SoVerySadNow at 3:44 PM, May 20th (Monday)]
Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 11:33 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2013
he wants to make up for it in our present and future but it's so hard not to have resentment and regret.
Yes this ^ is the hard part for me. How do you not develop resentment after an A. I have all kinds of resentment and then half of the time I regret not kicking WS out on 1st DDay.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
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