I have made it public. I have included on some pictures the OWs name. I am still mulling over whether or not to tell OW's husband, a "good decent man."
So first is posting this pictures something which is illegal (especially the naked ones of OW) and second, well, I think i already know the answer, is it cruel?
I have a great deal of empathy for OWs husband and struggle daily with whether or not to tell him, but I don't think FB is likely the "nicest" way for him to find out. Not only is it potentially public and would shame him not only within himself but potentially with people he knows but if i told him gently in person that would be less cruel.
Of course I would like to OUT the OW but really, really don't want to spread my pain to any undeserving person! I am in SUCH agony.
thank you for any advice
I don't debate the cruelty aspect. I think you've just burned yourself severely by playing with fire.
Unfortunately, the law doesn't care if someone is deserving or not.
Look, I get how hurt you are, we all do. If I were you I would remove that page on work on creating a happy life for myself.
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Healing wishes to all.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
I just read your other post on JFO..please..just tell him. It's going to hurt him no matter where he is told..he just needs to be told. You are not causing the pain..you are giving him the gift of the truth. You could also be saving his life..she could very well infect him with an STD thanks to her whoring around...tell him. The sooner the better.
You have the support of most BS's on SI..that they would have wanted to be told if the OBS found out before they did. We nearly all agree..we would rather know,than not know. The truth is always better than a lie. ALWAYS.
I understand that it's hard..and I think you must be very kind,to be putting so much thought into telling him...so be kind to this poor man,and tell him the truth.
I was just tested friday for STDs just because you're supposed to do that, and highly doubt anything comes up positive. So the STD thing is likely not a real issue in telling him.
I just want my pain over everything to go away. That is my primary concern right now. It has to be. And I have no idea how to do it. Except day by day by day by day by agonizing day.
Many BS's have gotten STD's from their WS. They're not whores. Anyone can have an STD...including the OW.
I don't know if it is illegal but I think there is a strong possibility it is. Shout it from the rooftops to out him, but be vary careful of what is in writing because it can most definitely bite you in the @ss at some point.
I understand the pain of it. Yes, I understand that loud and clear and I have done many stupid things in the past three years because of all of the pain inflicted upon me. But just be very, very careful of what is out there in writing. I would hate to see you get in legal trouble because of all of this.