I just want to know how to help her. She doesnt sleep and keeps on getting stress migranes, and those are things that have never happened. She keeps her phone off and wont take calls. She is sick all of the time and doesnt keep food down all that well, but I cant get her to talk to me!!!! I am really scared and worried for her. I know that I did this, but what can I do to even begin to undo it?!?!
P lease give me advice. I just want her not to hurt anymore and would do ANYTHING to help her!!!!
I know it's not a fix-all but it's a good start, IMO.
Married 2.5 years
We remarried in 2014.
I know that I did this, but what can I do to even begin to undo it?!?!
You cant undo it, Jack.
I cant get her to talk to me!!!
Here's the problem... its still about you. You dont want to hear this, but the damage you've done is irreversible. Now its up to her to decide if she ever even wants to talk to you again... and, yes, that is HER choice, not yours.
You have done plenty; and then some.
Right now you have DEVASTATED her with what you have done.
Be there when she is ready. Work on yourself. Read, write, listen & read more.
Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people
I have never seen her so depressed and angry and hurt. I cant get her to open up about anything except the A.
And this surprises you why? She's watching ATV...24 hours a day, 7 days a week, non-stop, commercial-free "Jack's A ruined my life" programming. You've broken NC, you showed the ow SI and outed your BS's posts. You're making everything about you. You are terrorizing her right now. If you want to help her, stop hurting her. Stop with the half-assed pity-party attention seeking behaviors. Put your bullshit aside and dig in. Do the work on yourself and do everything...everything, Jack, that's in your power to help her come back. Start taking accountability for the pain you've caused, accept that you can't undo it, and get to work.
Enough whining, Jack. You're saying the same thing over and over in different ways. Time for some real action. Its on you to make it happen.
It is counterintuitive really... the less we defend our well-being, the more well we feel. ~ Nancy Colier