Thanks for the thoughts, everyone. NG, you're probably right that I'm in a bit of denial. I just can't reconcile this person with the person I married. WH couldn't have been sweeter today...
I just have to share my day because it was so bad it's actually kind of funny.
I wake up and my perfectly housetrained puppy immediately pees on the rug.
I clean that up, shower, get the girls ready to go, grab the milk out of the fridge and the whole shelf falls out of the door. The bottle of fish sauce breaks and glass and nasty fish sauce goes everywhere. OMG. Why do I have fish sauce, you ask? Well, I like to cook and apparently I must have been trying some Thai dish ages ago. My house STILL smells like fish sauce. GROSS.
I clean that up and get in the car. The front left wheel sounds like it's grinding. I drop the kids off and start driving into DC because I have a dr's appt that I don't want to reschedule (I'm going to Africa - yay! - and need various shots and the dr is going to be out of town after tomorrow). The grinding starts to sound louder and I'm starting to freak. I call WH and he says it's probably ok. Um, well, then I literally hear things falling off my left tire and the car starts lurching to the left. Awesome. Glad my kids aren't in the car! I pull over and call WH again along with AAA.
WH comes to "save" me and tells me I can have a new car of my choice. Um, really? Feeling guilty much? Ha.
As I'm driving him back to the city, a plane literally almost lands in the road in front of us. Bizarre.
I call the dr last minute to see if he can get me in after all and he says yes. About 3 hours of waiting later, I get my shots. I can no longer lift my left arm. WH is starting to freak because he has calls and has the girls in his office. LOL. Mr. Nice Guy is starting to lose it.
I finally get done, reclaim my girls, and drive home. Of course, I make the mistake of saying thank you for all the help and that I wish things could be different. He says he's sorry, that I shouldn't beat myself up, that I'm awesome and a great mom and a fantastic person and that he's just going through a thing and it's 90% him. That hopefully he'll get over it. Um, ok. Get girls dinner and into the bath. Toddler promptly poos in the tub. Of course.
I get them to bed and go downstairs. I was so careful to clean up all the glass this morning...or not. It looks like a freaking massacre scene in my living room. Apparently my puppy found the one piece of glass and stepped on it and bled EVERYWHERE. Carpet, couches, OMG.
So I cleaned that up, went down to the dock, and had a glass of wine. The world looks better again.
Oh wait, no, my other older dog just puked everywhere. Awesome! I am going to have to give up and go to bed.