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Newest Member: Maggie1000 (45722)

User Topic: I hate Pat Robertson more and more.
KBeguile
♂ 38348
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I apologize if any of you are Pat Robertson fans, but his insensitivity to the issue we all must deal with needs to be known, especially by the people who have faith and are hurt most by betrayal.

I'm interested in people's thoughts. I'm especially incensed and only got angrier as he dug himself deeper and deeper.

http://www.christianpost.com/news/pat-robertson-cheating-host-responds-to-plea-from-woman-struggling-to-forgive-infidelity-video-96039/


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 802 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
WakingFromADream
♂ 33934
Member # 33934
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The following thread may be that for which you are looking.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=496376


Me(35) XWW(36) DS(7) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13

Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.


Posts: 1148 | Registered: Nov 2011
heartbroken0903
♀ 27879
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dr. Laura (whom I actually like for the most part) spouts similar drivel WRT infidelity. Never the cheater's fault.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

We remarried in 2014.


Posts: 2316 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
silverhopes
♀ 32753
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, saw the link here and on the other thread... It's sad, someone who is so well-known can be seen as a (poor) role model who does not acknowledge infidelity for the horrific thing it is. Or even if he says it's bad in other speeches (no idea if he does or not), those kinds of comments he makes - "Stop talking about cheating... Well, he's a man... Stop focusing on the bad things..." etc. - write off the severity of it. He's not doing either of them - neither the wife nor her husband - a favor with that. Sad.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3920 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
hardlessons
♂ 35025
Member # 35025
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think your anger about it has anything to do with your behavior while in the A?

Anger with how easily we deceive ourselves as waywards? I know I thought I was a stand up guy, but when reality hit that was far from the truth. Working on that, but I am more concerned with changing my behavior not pointing out others obvious stupidity.


Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona
SandAway
♀ 37775
Member # 37775
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It honestly makes me wonder if he was a wayward because that sure is wayward thinking...

(And I hate the term wayward thinking, but can totally see it here)


fWW
BH Tred
M 16yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people


Posts: 439 | Registered: Dec 2012
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, I see very old time Christian thinking here. If everything was right at home then the man would want to be at home and not out wandering around. So the woman must not be doing her womanly duty. Very old time Christian thinking, I grew up in it. Made me sick then, and makes me sick now.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5155 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
20WrongsVs1
♀ 39000
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

KB, you're especially incensed because you're a Christian? And you don't want people to think you share his opinion? Not making assumptions, just asking, because you didn't specify why you were so angry about it.

TG, at the risk of unintentionally implying that you're saying that thinking is limited to Christianity--it's much broader than one religion. That thinking is ingrained in our social mores, and probably has been for millenia. Men need sex, so if the wife ain't giving it up, who can blame a guy for seeking supplementation? And if a woman cheats, then her husband clearly isn't satisfying her--or she's just a wanton slut. Due to that: aren't women cheaters generally regarded, in society, as worse than our male counterparts?


fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1252 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
Offhispedestal
♀ 32528
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Robertson added: "He cheated on you. Well, he's a man. OK. So what you do, is you begin to focus on why you married him in the first place, on what he does good."

That really let's me see he's the old Christian way of thinking and rug sweeping. I have heard of old fashioned Christians giving advice like this. Our pastor gave us some marriage counseling. This isn't at all the type of advice given!!
Our pastor really understood how deep the pain of this type of betrayal is. He told me the act of Infidelity is firstly a selfish act. He let me know I was very within my right to get a divorce if that's what I wanted. He asked my H a bunch of questions and spoke to him alone as well.
Our pastor's view on infideility is
The WS was not forced in any way by my actions to go out and cheat.
He said that I could have a cold wife, not affectionate or other bad habits ...but that did not cause the A. He let me know that WS could have sought help from IC or marriage counseling if he had deep concerns ..


ME-44
WH-45
Married 24


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 639 | Registered: Jun 2011
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

20W,

I totally agree. I do think that society doesn't yet know what to do with the women that are coming out of the woodwork with these affairs. We have accepted for years that men just do this. Women? Uh no. Society is having to learn how to cope with this new reality. And it isn't a good one.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5155 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
hardlessons
♂ 35025
Member # 35025
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think your anger about it has anything to do with your behavior while in the A?

Don't be scared homey.


Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona
Catwoman
♀ 1330
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a real problem with this.

Adultery and murder are both prohibited in the Judeo-Christian faith. Both are included in the "Ten Commandments."

So following this line of thinking is to also accuse the murder victim of somehow "deserving" or "contributing to" their demise.

Does this make sense? Of course not,

In the Judeo-Christian religions, the Ten Commandments are the "biggies." The general rules of polite society. They are fundamental. They are not excused or somehow explained away by the actions or non-actions of the other party. The Ten Commandments are the biggies because the actions they prohibit are those most disruptive to society, soul, and spirit.

Personally, I think any so-called religious leader who would espouse that it is the victim's fault that they were victimized is a crock. Adultery breaks the marital covenant. Plain and simple. It can be healed, but it is a serious breach and needs serious intervention and treatment.

Personally, men are not somehow predisposed to cheating because they have a Y chromosome. They cheat for any number of excuses. They also have choices to not cheat, as we all do.

I think the church should toss Mr. Robertson out of his ear, or at least shuffle him off to the rest home for endless games of Bingo.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29710 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
KBeguile
♂ 38348
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hardlessons said:

Do you think your anger about it has anything to do with your behavior while in the A?

Anger with how easily we deceive ourselves as waywards? I know I thought I was a stand up guy, but when reality hit that was far from the truth. Working on that, but I am more concerned with changing my behavior not pointing out others obvious stupidity.

No, not wholly anger reflecting the ease with which we deceive ourselves, though I'm sure that's part of what riled me so much.

I thought of this specific situation in the context I have been made aware of now that I am recovering: a woman, desperate for guidance from an authority figure she trusts, is basically told that it's her fault. I placed my own BS in her position, and I got infuriated that anyone in a position of authority would have the gall to further victimize the victim.

20WrongsVs1 said:

KB, you're especially incensed because you're a Christian? And you don't want people to think you share his opinion? Not making assumptions, just asking, because you didn't specify why you were so angry about it.

I used to be a Christian. I'm Buddhist now. I also used to be part of media with the equivalent of a weekly podcast and terrestrial radio experience, so I have a very healthy respect for the reach that media has.

It's more of what I said above: I was outraged that someone could use their position of authority in such a demeaning, disrespectful, and harmful way. Blaming the victim is shameful.


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 802 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 13

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