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I found out last week that my STBXW is now screwing an ex-neighbour. When we used to hang out with this couple, she hated him fiercely. Then they moved away and divorced. Now that I'm gone, she's fallen into his arms - makes me wonder about all that hate she had for him.

Since we separated, I've been going to as many musical things as possible - playing with and in front of others makes me feel a little less crazy.

On Monday nights I've been going to an open stage. I love this event, and look forward to it every week.

However, there is another regular there who looks a lot like STBXW's fuck-buddy. Whenever I see him, I think of STBXW banging this dude, and wonder how long it's really been happening.

I don't want to stop going to my open stage, but need to be able to see this other musician without the mind-movies. What can I do to get my brain out of this?

I know that feeling. The biggest red flag I missed was my cousin telling me he hit on her, but he always told me how much he hated her, so for that and other reasons, I didn't believe her and thought she was misunderstood. BIG mistake on my part. Of course now I wonder about all the other women he said that about, because they were quite a few. Manipulative bastards..

Anyhoo, the only thing I can think of right now is to stare at him for a few minutes and try to think of anybody else he looks like. Or give him a few extra features in your head to make him look like someone else, like maybe Gary Busey, ha ha.

But don't let this trigger stop you from going! Open night sounds like a fabulous time and a great outlet for you

Thanks BG, I'll give that a try.

I'm definitely going to keep going to the open stage. Any nights that I can play music help me to keep from going crazy.

And dude, I need all the help I can get!

I totally agree. Music is great for the soul. The kids and I have been having "Rock Band" sessions on the PS3 lately with my sister. It's not quite the real thing, but I always end up feeling like a rock star. My 9-year-old is really good at the drums and guitar, and my 5-year-old is really starting to kick butt on the keytar