He was not great to you...he was answering and placing ads on craigslist looking for men during 2 years of the time he was "so great." Who he really he,and who he showed you,are 2 different people.
Of course he's ready to move on and get married...he's embarrassed and humiliated that you found out his secret. He is desperate to move on and leave this in the past..he wants society,his family,his friends,to see him as a husband and a father...meanwhile who he really is is a man who is in denial about who he is..a man who is denying his sexuality.
I've been thinking about you and wondering how you were. I see here that you are fighting with him all the time,can't look at him,and clearly you are not happy with him. Because you know,deep down,that he is lying to you.
He may even be lying to himself. He may really think he's not bi or gay. For whatever reason..maybe he feels it's something to be ashamed of(it's not.. deceiving your wife is though)...maybe he is scared of the reaction from the people in his life..maybe he has convinced himself that he is straight.
But...here's the thing..straight men do not do what he did. They just don't. If they need an outlet for stress,they do not request pics of other men's penises. You know that..and *that* is why you are still spiraling out of control.
If he would just admit it,you could work with it. Bisexuals can be faithful,after all,cheating is a choice.(If he is gay,well,there's no working that out) But as long as he is lying or denying what is so clearly the truth,until he takes that first step, you can not even begin to think of R-ing with this man.
It took a year before WH admitted he was bisexual..a whole damn year. I knew it..I read everything in that email account...and I refused,absolutely refused, to allow him to hide his head in the sand(or the closet ). I knew that until he was honest about that,I would never be able to trust him again.
Big hugs,honey. Im sorry you're hurting.
[This message edited by confused615 at 9:18 AM, May 21st (Tuesday)]
M: June 2001
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.