23 yo DD moving back to where I live from another city in the same state.
She's got alot of stuff. She ended up with most of the furniture from our house
The plan was that I was going to spend a small fortune paying a moving company to move her.
Then asshat talked to her. He said, no need to do that, I will rent a UHaul and I will help you move.
She was thrilled!!! I was thrilled!! She's been in college and has been moving every year. I've always been the one to help her.
He called her yesterday and told her that he hurt his back. Yesterday, Monday. Moving day? Next Monday. I didn't mean to say it, but I blurted out "He's lying". I really do try and bite my tongue when it comes to her, but oopsy, it slipped out. It was just that kind of a day.
Her response? I KNOW!
It's so effing obvious! Next Monday is Memorial Day! POM gets the day off from work so they probably have plans for the long weekend. Duh!! Why help your DD move when you could be having fun with POM?
She is such a good kid. College grad with honors. Got a job right out of school. Moving back to be closer to US got a new job in this job market! She doesn't deserve to be lied to by him.
It's that question that we here in this forum keep asking - Why do they feel like they need to continue to lie at this point? We all know that answer - but she does not deserve this!
Not only did it break her heart, it just added more stress to the stress she is already feeling from this move.
I've been toying with the idea of emailing him just to say what the he11 are you thinking? You've lost everything for this (woman). Do you really want to push your daughter away too?
And the most pathetic thing about all of this is that he has such a messed up relationship with POM. They break up, get back together, break up, get back together for 4 years now!!! It's one thing that he puts POM above me, but his daughter??
I think the more you look the other way and quietly move on from his promises (sadly to your DD) the more you will feel better and he will feel worse.
I am sorry for the disappointment, I would feel awful if my dad treated me that way...I wish parents would get their heads out of their a$$e$ and realize it's not about the divorce, it's about having a relationship with your kids.
Let these two figure it out on their own. He may never realize what he's missing out on, or one day he may wake up and realize she wants nothing to do with him and be heartbroken.
The damage sounds like it's already been done with your DD anyway.
Perv does this with the visitation-that's why he was bullying me over last weekend, because he has "Plans" for this one. He's trying to get out of taking her to promised things and leave me again to deal with her pain alone and clean up the mess.
IC is trying to help me "let go" and show him that we don't care...except we do. He's messing with her life now, as Jayne's STBX is and there is such pain in watching our kids go through it, isn't?
But yes...I'm learning the best way really is to act like we are unaffected, because in reality, he doesn't care.
OW is getting her time with him now at the expense of our daughter, who he claims to love...but it seems so much like just hollow words now.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
She's an adult; she needs to learn to navigate adult situations. Sounds awful, but actually it's a good thing. Hard to swallow now, but you'll see...
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
3 boys: 8, 10 and 4 months
After having 24 hrs pass since this happened, I agree!!
Arrangements have been made with a moving company, they are going to be there Monday. I will be receiving my first payment from him within 30 days - so, I'll just look at this as spending his money on our daughter
Hopefully, if nothing else, this will be a lesson to her on how to be strong no matter how much crap is being thrown at her.