She filed. I never wanted it. This is totally her doing, but if you talk to her she acts as if this is all my fault. Hmm. Yea, i sure drove her to fuck some other guy. yea, right. But she still hasn't admitted to an A, though everyone around her thinks she's guilty. I remain silent on the issue and she has to know that I know what this is really all about and it is probably killing her. BTW, she still hasn't admitted to having an A, but it doesn't matter. I don't care anymore. If she wants to go fuck some random guy, whatever, go. I don't need it or her to make me happy...never did. My failure was in trying to make her happy, when that was never going to happen.
Do i like it being final? No. But this is what she wanted and pushed for, so it is what she got. I objected a couple of times and said that it is not what I wanted, but she surged ahead.
So, in the end, she can never say with any truth in her heart its on me. But she will lie and say that's it my fault all this happened. Whatever.
At some point, I just want to do what's right 4 the kids. I worry about her, but in a more general sense. I still love her, but I've come to a place where I'm ok. I'm not ok in some ways, but generally, I'm ok with knowing I didn't cause this.