Could there be depression?
Sleeping all the time? No interest?
I wish I could sleep all the time, but I can't. I homeschool 3 children besides running them all over to various activities.
Maybe I am depressed. Lately I've been doing some new things and meeting with some moms, which lifts me up. But I can't seem to stop triggering over "it" and "it."
We walked tonight so we could talk without interruption. H said that although he fell asleep the other night when I was talking to him because he was exhausted, and that he wanted to have sex when he woke up a couple of minutes later, it is perfectly normal, and that he felt I was trying to dictate things to him, tell him if he can or cannot have sex when he is tired.
I was hurt when that happened, and my being hurt is the incident that caused this thread. I had no right to be hurt, according to my H. I told him, "I am not good enough to listen to, but I am good enough to have sex with."
More than have sex, I want to be listened to...those are my needs. But for him it all turns into sex.
During our walk he basically reiterated that I had a problem being hurt that he wanted to have sex after falling asleep while I was talking.
I told him that I wish he would just be honest with me instead of playing with my head. I wished he would have just said, "Sorry honey, I'm a regular guy, and I think with my dick."
When I said that he retorted "get away from me" and let go of my hand. He walked quickly ahead of me toward our home. I didn't go straight home, I walked and walked and would have kept walking if I didn't have children, and had a home somewhere else.
sigh....he has told me so many times that all guys think of sex many times a day...everything always turns into thoughts of sex....I guess that means all guys except him....sigh...
He has always tried to be different from any male stereotypes, and I used to believe him...until the A and the porn...sigh.
I wish I could just disappear into a puff of smoke and never be again and never was in the first place.
Thank God I have wonderful children who need me and love me. They expect little of me, and just love what I do for them. I just can't help sighing and feeling like giving up on the M. It is more complicated than ever now that he has quit porn and is "fighting back" with me as he calls it. One minute he is honest, the next he is not. Then he comes back when he was not honest and tries to tell me truth, pretending that what he also said the first time was the truth, the 2nd story is just "better" truth.
This is depressing, and I feel like giving up.