Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing. Maybe I should have just let him have his EA and do whatever. At least I would be in my home, I would have someone to do stuff with and I wouldn't be alone.
God, I'm pathetic.....
What about your daughter? Plan a nice picnic luncheon and take a little hike in the woods somewhere. Do you have any family, siblings or cousins you can use the long weekend to reconnect with?
FWIW - I think you're doing the right thing. The misery of knowingly living alongside an active affair is far worse than a long weekend alone. Find a good book, hit the library with a Caramel macchiato (with extra Caramel of course!)
I was actually afraid of it at first, but am getting better. A book is a great idea. I started going for drives and stopping to get a sandwich when it was a meal-then I'm not alone at home and it split the day up. Or I walk at the mall or rent a movie.
Sometimes weekends are hard also, because in my mind, everyone else is out living, while I'm still in purgatory of trying to jump start some kind of new life. Without a dime.
I also do letterboxing and geo caching with or without DD and it breaks up a day. I bring a snack or get a sandwich and sometimes see a new place. And I make a list of areas and it becomes a goal. There's another one that I forget the name where it's done with hiking, also.
I find hobbies don't work for me because I can't concentrate.
Also, I joined a yoga class and am now recognized at it, so people nod or chat at me and it's totally unrelated and gets me out. It's truly "just for me."
The other thing that is cathartic is my piano.
I wish you luck ST and there's always SI, a hammock and old sitcoms for inside!!!
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
I find that one of the worst things about this whole situation is having the courage to be comfortable with ME. Once I started embracing this (and my uncomfortable apartment), I realized that I had a lot of self-searching to accomplish, and gosh is that scary! I know, it's better said than done, but start small by going to the book store, treat yourself to a coffee, or rent a ton of movies (new discoveries or old favorites) that you know you'll enjoy. Is there something that makes you happy or anything that you've been wanting to do?
This is a daunting journey that takes time, but you'll find that it'll be SO worth it.
It's okay to go to a movie alone or out to dinner to break up the time. Do your grocery shopping on another day. Go to a park and take a nice long walk. Bike ride. Sometimes I would just go sit by the lake and read just to get out of the house.
The big thing is not to let what your WH is doing control your life. Go out and do what you want, as if he wasn't around at all.
The first New Years Eve after we separated, I spent it alone with my special needs daughter... and I had an epiphany that nite.
I would rather spend New Years Eve alone than spend it with someone that is lying to me!
He used to call her right after he'd kiss me at midnite.
Rent some movies, go for a walk - start a hobby. Anything is better than being lied to. You deserve so much more!!!
Look for things to do that will force you to interact with others, no matter how hard. Seriously, push yourself. Please stay strong and look to do one thing each day that will make you stronger, even if it's just a little bit stronger.
Interacting with others helps tremendously.
Being alone isn't so bad, at least you can trust yourself to be honest with yourself.
I know just how you are feeling, the days are very long if you just stay at home on your own.
Get out in the fresh air and go for a long walk, that really does help me. If you're at home, put on some music that you love and get stuck into some jobs that need doing, even just tidying out a closet.
Hire out a funny movie or watch a box set of your favorite show. Enjoy not having to deal with his crap anymore!!
It will get easier, I promise.
All I want is to hate him. Why can't that happen??? I just want to hate him and hate him and hate him! He has ruined my life! Why should I love someone who does this shit to me?
I am pathetic and I know it....I should not let this man affect me the way he does. Some days I think death would be easier....
I can only say I have been in your shoes and it does get better.
Reading a book is a wonderful idea. I started planting a garden to just help me get through it.
Not sure if your a member of a church but if you are you could reach out to them and see if they have any events/ministries that you could help out with.
I did that and just helping others really put my problems into perspective.
Also, too - there is always SI
Be strong - you will make it!
My ass goblin ex had me served 3 years ago, during the holiday, which was also my 40th. Actual bd was a Sunday, the MF couldn't have me served on my actual BD, or I'm sure he would. Worse than that, my BFF told me that she was moving 1500 miles away. I wanted to tear my heart out & die.
I got thru it, and I know that you can too. You got some decent suggestions here. Walks around the neighborhood, mani/pedi, read a good book, cook a nice meal for yourself.
You did the right thing. Do you really want to accept crap behaviour? There is no reason to put up w/a WS. A long, slow agonizing death is still better than knowing that your spouse is cheating on you.
I talked to a friend last evening and I'm going to go out with her on Saturday! YAY!!! At least I don't have to be alone the entire weekend. She's in the same shoes as me; her husband has had numerous A's and actually moved out for a couple of months and lived with the OW. He is now overseas with the Navy and she keeps finding out more things. So, I have someone who is on "common ground" with me.
I see my IC tomorrow morning so that will help too; I always feel better after talking to her and I don't know why. Maybe it's just because I can get everything off my chest.
We'll see how today goes. One day at a time I guess. I'm doing my best to keep strong but it's tough.