I was texting with our oldest son (12) yesterday, and then went to my weekly jam session. I missed a text from him while jamming. By the time the session was over, it was way past his bedtime. I know that he keeps his phone on all night, so I didn't text back, for fear of waking him.
Before I was married I used to have severe insomnia, but it seemed to get better once I was married and had a more routine life. Now it's happening again. So I got home last night, and didn't sleep until about 3am.
I slept through my alarm and woke up around 11am. Since I'm self-employed, this isn't a big deal - or so I thought!
I had a text from STBXWW wondering if I was okay, so I texted her to let her know I had just slept in. I immediately got a tearful phone call from her, saying that she and our son were scared to death that I had committed suicide (I had tried in Jan/2012, but not since).
Of course, I apologized profusely, and explained myself. She sent me a text a few minutes ago saying that I needed to come up with a regular contact plan with our son, so that he wouldn't worry. I told her that I would text him every evening around his bed time to say Good Night. Since my bed and waking times are so inconsistent, that's really the most maintainable plan I can give at this point.
Her response: "It would help if you kept more regular hours". Fuck! There's a news flash for you. I responded that my insomnia, coupled with my major depression and ADHD made that difficult, and I just can't promise it at this point.
Her response: "Then your kid will probably be scared again."
I explained about my renewed insomnia, and that my sudden change in living situation made that difficult, and that this is not a choice I have made. Then I said I would discuss it with our son, and I would appreciate her understanding.
Her response: "Very good."
I can almost hear her standard, cold "Very good." That's as strong as acceptance gets from her, but it usually means that she doesn't consider it good at all.
She had the nerve a few weeks ago to tell me that I've always underestimated her "suffering". This is from the woman who thinks I should just get over her infidelity, and believe everything she tells me.
Two sons: Born 2000 and 2003
Cheating louse: What's her name again?
Finally divorced Jul/17
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!