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Blameitontherain posted 5/22/2013 16:13 PM

I know I have seen this before but can't find it.

WH has always had an overly decent sex drive. The past three weeks, not anything. Normally two-three days was the longest he would go before trying to initiate if I wasn't the one trying to initiate.

I do not suspect an affair or new contact with old affair person.

This past month he has finally demonstrated that he gets what he did. The impact of it, how shitty he has treated me and the kids, etc. I have initiated a number of times and get told he isn't in the mood, too tired, etc. for lack of a better wording, all the equipment is working

Could the guilt be killing his libido? Or could he be "punishing" himself? Can anyone relate?

I need to feel some connection to him physically. Not feeling wanted physically is making my already low self esteem tip lower.

[This message edited by Blameitontherain at 4:47 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]

PinkJeepLady posted 5/22/2013 16:47 PM

Yes, I think it is with how he feels about himself. Without knowing all your specifics, I don't think he is punishing you. Don't take it personally.
My H had a realization that he felt he didn't deserve to make love to me. He has been able to work on that and it's much better.
Also, a turning point was one day when I just came in the house, grabbed him into the bedroom and took the lead. No discussion, just went for it!
I think their guilt is a huge factor, be patient. It will get better

FeelingSoMuch posted 5/22/2013 16:52 PM

It happens to guys from time to time. Happens to me when I'm faced with an overly emotional situation. Guilt would do it. It's not a reflection of how he feels about you.

If you don't think he's spending his energies elsewhere, then I would not take it personally.