Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: drummerwife (46039)

User Topic: At My Wits End...
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just don't know what to do anymore...

My son has encopresis. It's a condition where the person can't feel the need to have a bowel movement and will have solid accidents.

We dealt with it all last year with the help of his pediatrician and the treatment he Rx. And I thought we had it licked.

We don't...

We're going to have to go back to the treatment again, which is Mirilax everyday and scheduled time on the toilet.

It's not the accidents that bother me so much, he can't help that...

It's his complete laziness about cleaning himself after. He can sit in his own shit and not even care. How does he do that... dried up shit all over his ass.

I don't know what to do anymore.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I seriously want too cry


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
booger bear
♀ 26584
Member # 26584
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not to be blunt ... but can he feel his ass ? If he can't tell when he needs to have a BM, maybe he can't feel his ass.

I realize the smell should be enough ... obviously it is not.

May be a psychological thing to, maybe he is depressed ect. about this and this is his way of acting out asking for help.

I know your helping him ... doing all you can for him, I can't imagine how this must feel to him.

(((DS)))


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18829 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know his self-esteem has taken a big hit...

I am going to make sure I get him in to IC over the summer... while we have the time.

I don't know if he "can't" feel it or he's just in a rush to get back to his games.

His bathroom was a complete mess also... we had to clean it from all the dried up, crusty poo on the floor and rugs and counter and toilet. Just a huge mess.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was thinking the same thing as bb; if he can't feel the urge, maybe he doesn't feel the result. The psychological aspect could be a real factor too. He may be so embaressed that he doesn't want to acknowledge it's happened. I can just imagine how cruel kids would be if they found out about this.

Poor kid; and poor jrc. You're a good mom. Don't let this get you down.


Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the tylenol?

Posts: 20560 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
simplydevastated
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's not much more I can add to what bb and Sad have already said.

I just want to give you and your son a big (((hug)))


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's never ever done this at school... only at home. Thank Goodness.

I feel so bad for him...

But also so frustrated because I thought we'd gotten this beat and it's back.

And it's so, well, gross...

I told him tonight... poop or no poop I love him just the same.

But he needs to understand he can't walk around like that.

Even as an infant/baby he hated to be changed/cleaned... I think he always wanted to be doing ANYthing else.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
UnexpectedSong
♀ 21761
Member # 21761
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not the same situation, but my son is 10 and not toilet trained. So I change a lot of poopy diapers and it's definitely something to cry over.


WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker

Posts: 6123 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California
hemademesingle
♀ 21281
Member # 21281
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My heart hurts for you and your son,

Kids can be so cruel to other kids,

With it being a medical issue, I think that I would implement rules to follow, when he has an accident, he must shower to clean himself up, if it happens 5 times a day then he showers 5 times a day, he must rinse his soiled underware, and he must make sure that his bathroom is clean and tidy, if he makes a mess, then he scrubs it right away, if he doesn't follow the rules, then he gets his games taken away, and will have to earn back time with them, by following the rules,

Your love for your son comes threw in every message you write about him, whether he is in trouble, or he is just being his amazing self,


Posts: 395 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Canada
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Hemademesingle... that means a lot to me.

Those rules are good... they are already in place for the most part. I've already taken the games away.

[This message edited by jrc1963 at 8:48 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)]


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
smallhope
♀ 13907
Member # 13907
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jrc1963 and UnexpectedSong, my heart goes out to you both.

jrc1963 your post instantly brought back the years of frustration and desperation when I went through this with my son.

When DS was 10, I happened across an ad about bedwetting. I called the number and a salesman showed up a day or two later. To this day I remember the case stories he told me about, and how they were resolved. Many stories included children with the same problem as your child.

The program involved a wet/dry pad and a rather large battery, along with a very detailed behavioral program, tailored to my son.

It required a major sustained commitment, and there were no shortcuts around the sheer amount of labor involved, esp in the middle of the night- but it worked. As far as I, and my son, were concerned, it was a miracle.

It's been so long I don't remember the specific name of the program (DS is 29)- but I googled bedwetting solutions and there are similar programs available today.


Posts: 136 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Midwest
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He rarely if ever wets the bed.

He's having solid (poop) accidents during the day.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
cissie
♀ 17637
Member # 17637
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would he be able to use a bidet? There are some bidets you can attach to a regular toilet. You turn a knob and there is a spray which helps clean the area.
In Florida, the water is not too cold. In colder climates you probably need a more complicated one that has a heater.

Posts: 553 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: limbo
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He'd be able to use a bidet...

I didn't know they had ones you could attach to toilets


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 1:07 AM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The fact that this hasn't happened at school and only happens at home makes me think there really is a more psychological aspect to this. Like perhaps he is trying to get your attention? From your tagline, it sounds like he had to witness a separation between you and your spouse, so I would definitely recommend some counseling for him.

Big hugs to you. I know you love your son, but man, that is really pretty gross and must be extremely frustrating.. You get some extra stars from me


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Phoenix1
♀ 38928
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 1:36 AM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unfortunately, I went thru the same thing with my son. EXACTLY the same, but it would happen at school as well. He just wouldn't say anything and walk around in crapped up pants. Then, when he got home his sisters would tell him he stinks. So I knew other kids thought the same, but he just shrugged it off like he didn't care. We did the whole pediatrician and Miralax thing too. He would hide his crapped up underwear around the house and I would find it in the most unusual places. We started to keep a large bucket of bleach water by our washer so I could throw them in there to soak before washing them. It was BEYOND frustrating as nothing worked, and he genuinely did not care. So you are probably wondering how long it lasted... it lasted until he was 12 then it just stopped and he was fine. Still don't know what triggered the fix, but God was I happy it finally happened! He just turned 20 this year and there have been no lasting effects. Well, except for his sisters occasionally teasing him about it.

Hang in there! It is truly disgusting to deal with, and years later I would still find dried up poop balls in unexpected places...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1314 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
cissie
♀ 17637
Member # 17637
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This link is one example of a "bolt on" bidet. I think there are a couple of others on the market which have slightly different mechanisms. I dont know if that is against the rules so I will try a PM


Posts: 553 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: limbo
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank You...

I appreciate the feedback and support... I really do.

We've been 5 or 6 days w/o an accident so far.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24750 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
itainteasy
♀ 31094
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((jrc))))))))

I hope today has been accident free.


Posts: 3432 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry for you and your son. Lots of hugs my dear... ((((((jrc & son))))))))

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.