Her graduation announcement came out today in our local small town paper. She was born in this town.
Her announcement says:
I would like to thank my dad and GF, my sister, and my mom
This GF just moved into her dad's house 6 months ago. DD18 had only been around her a few times before that.
A few people at work asked me about it and gave me hugs, with pity in their eyes.
I am eviscerated. This is the worst in a long line of blows. I feel so humiliated that all my friends and associates read this. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and full of grief.
Problem is, tonight is the senior awards night. DD18 intentionally chose to not tell me the time for her prom pictures a few weeks ago claiming I did not like to be around GF (I never met the lady, not OW) and then asked me to pay half of her grad party Npd-x and GF are throwing. I said , "I am not good enough to be in a backyard with GF yet now I am supposed to pay a bucket load of money to sit an dcht chat with them??"
Anyway, DD18 is getting a few awards. But I DO NOT want to go. I have had enough. I am heart-broken and don't know what to say to everyone that will be there. She has cut me out of her entire senior year and I really do not know what has happened in her life.
Please 2X4 me if I am in need.
I am sad.
[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 6:45 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]
IMO, you should go, hold your head up high, clap when she gets her awards, then go out and treat yourself to a piece of pie or a margarita--whatever works.
You deserve this as much as she does. Look at it as fake it till you make it and big, big hugs (((((Chrys)))))
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Does it suck and is it unfair? Absolutely. But she is young and dumb and you need the memory of you there for the future, even if you have to basically suck it up for the night.
That is just my knee jerk reaction, I certainly respect whatever you decide, but it would be a step in the right direction. She's not mature enough to have any concept of how to do this herself.
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
I cannot face her or them without crying, and they will only use that against me.
I am thinking of going. Snapping a picture of her getting her award, sending to her with a "I'm so proud of you " message.
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Even when you are sidelined by the NPD, you still have every right to be there. GO!
Be proud, you have every right to be. You raised her, he manipulates her.
One day she will see his true colors... that day is coming and she will need you to help her make sense of the nonsense.
I'm so sorry your going through this. I too have an 18 year old son graduating in 2 weeks and I am going through something similar.
I am going to his Graduation ceremony, getting my picture taken with him and then going out to dinner with my best friend, who is attending with me.
Just wanted to send you hugs.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
I know it's so hard, but regardless of company, this only happens once.
I hope you had a good night, Chrys. HUGS!!!
Someday she will grow up, maybe even apologize for her behavior, she is young and immature, and we all know how others influence them, anybodies opinion is better than mom's, to a teenager
Don't give these people the power over you, by not attending an important day in not only your daughters life but also in yours, you worked hard as a mom to get her where she is now
Make sure that you are done up to the nine's, hair, make up, rocking outfit, a smile from ear to ear, look threw them not at them, just like they don't exist
I am planning on being at the graduation tonight. As Sad pointed out, this happens once. Once it's over then we can never get it back. I just hope that as they grow up further that maturity will take over and we can develop the relationship that we deserve with each other.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
The I went home. She thanked me by text for the photos.
Next hurdle graduation, and I am planning to do the same thing. I will ask her to contact me if she wants a picture with me. I figure she won't reply.
I feel really down about this, but life goes on. Thanks for all your support.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley
Graduation will be interesting in FL too.
Like you said.
Life goes on.
I will ask her to contact me if she wants a picture with me.
Go to these events anyway. First for your DD. Second is because if you don't that gives alienators more "proof"
that you don't care. DD is behaving in a cruel way, go anyway. This is one step in combatting alienation, even if very tough for you. Buy yourself a reward when it is done.
Yes take pix! first for DD and second to be consistent that you do care, one day when she is deprogrammed from the crap she will realize how much you love her.
Make sure you schedule something that you've been wanting to do for yourself in the near future too though as a way of compensating and looking after yourself