BS: me - 39
Porn! Before this A nightmare, I was indifferent. Didn't think it was a big deal. Although, I didn't know that my WH was addicted to it at the time, and hiding it from me.
I just found out two days ago that my WH has been watching porn again, after he said he wouldn't. He said it's because we weren't having sex. I'm having his baby in three days, and he has not been following through with ANY R items, including talking to me. I've also realized that during our HB, he was using me as a hole. I always either felt gross after sex, or felt like I was competing with all of the OWs.
My WH hasn't been pawing at me at all. He says he initiated it, but all I remember is him mentioning sex in relation to inducing labour. That's it.
So, during our conversation, I let him know that I was not into emotionless sex anymore, and did not want to be his masturbation device any longer. After his A and the HB, I'm craving some emotional connection. He said he didn't think our relationship was at the spot where we could have emotionally-connected sex, so we'd have to work on our relationship. Nice.
I asked why he resorted to cheating on me with porn (the top of the slippery slope for him last time), and he said that maybe it gave him some feeling of false-intimacy. WTF?
I see divorce in my future.
I'm sorry you're going through this. What the hell are they thinking?
WH: him - 39
Married over 11 years, together for 20.
DD#1: 12/12/10 - LTA of 3 years, 2 mos.
DD#2: 02/02/11 - 2 EA/PA with coworkers, a month after the LTA was ended (by OW).