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User
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Topic: What you doing to R today?
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LA44
♀ 38384
Member # 38384 |  Posted: 2:20 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 |     |
So...what is everyone doing to R today? To mend, repair, heal, help their relationship.
I will start....we had some fun texts and then made a nooner appt. He had IC and we discussed what he MIGHT want to talk about. Up to him of course (just asked that he not talk about the nooner). 
Who's next?
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh |
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240 | | Posted: 2:42 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
He can't talk about the nooner, but you can???? 
fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.
Posts: 16556 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois |
sodamnlost
♀ 37190
Member # 37190 | | Posted: 3:00 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Not leaving counts some days right?!?!? <BIG SIGH>
In reality, taking some me time, to help sort out where my head is - it's holding me and US back. Need to find a way to grow some gonads for tomorrow's appointment with the surgeon too.
Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016
Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an
Posts: 772 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Out of the ashes |
LA44
♀ 38384
Member # 38384 | | Posted: 3:03 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
You're are right Sisoon! Me being "immature" again! haha
Sodamnlost - surgery? HUGS to you!
Just wanted to post something that shows us posters in POSITIVE action. No doubt I know I will post something sad/angry at some point!
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh |
Searchingforhope
♀ 38437
Member # 38437 | | Posted: 3:13 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Nice to post a positive LA44..
I am keeping it in the the forefront of my mind that my H was mentally insane and broken during the A so that I can feel compassion for him instead of rage. (See my post)
Does that count? 
Me: BW 51 at the time(didn't have a clue)
Him: FWH 54 at the time(extremely remorseful about his stupid midlife crisis)
Married 27 yrs at the time
DDAY 04/25/12
Working on R
PA Lasted 2 weeks. OW totally screwed up $@#%.
Posts: 267 | Registered: Feb 2013 |
Lostinthismess
♀ 39210
Member # 39210 | | Posted: 3:19 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Bought not just friends to read and see if it would be helpful for him to read....
Flirted with him over text all the while mulling over how he could have done this 
'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'
Posts: 401 | Registered: May 2013 |
LA44
♀ 38384
Member # 38384 | | Posted: 3:24 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Searching: Of course that counts! I think feeling compassion for someone who hurts us is a HUGE sign of maturity, grace and strength.
Lost: I know...I get it. I think the same thing when we are being romantic or even just having a nice family time. I do remember reading in After the Affair, Spring wrote...don't wait until you feel 100% loving to ACT that way - it might never happen!
Our cores are good and strong, people. Believe that!
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh |
huRtZ413
♀ 39214
Member # 39214 | | Posted: 3:28 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Lostinthismess love the tag _HOPE :)
thats awesome some i need to put on my bathroom mirror .
as for the post
We flirted through text today and showed understanding about the emotional ups and downs we both have throughout the day . he felt down he would txt and tell me and i would do the same and we reminded each other that we choose forever with each other and it makes us both feel better....hes is excited to come home today
me_BW
him_WH
I'M ON THE FENCE
Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013 |
libertyrocks
♀ 38924
Member # 38924 | | Posted: 3:32 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Just wanted to post something that shows us posters in POSITIVE action. No doubt I know I will post something sad/angry at some point!
I like your style LA44!!
I told my H how much I loved him and after 13 years, confessed it was love at first sight...I told him I appreciate all the big and little things he does and how I"m proud of the MAN he he has become.
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
Posts: 972 | Registered: Apr 2013 |
20WrongsVs1
♀ 39000
Member # 39000 | | Posted: 3:36 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Recognizing how sweet and compassionate BH is to our family and friends, by telling him, and giving him big smooches and hugs.
Not leaving counts some days right?
Yes. Thanking BH for not leaving. Or booting my sorry butt out.
fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."
Posts: 1523 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: The First Coast |
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053 | | Posted: 4:03 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Lets see,
I went to IC today, came home, told him that I was just not in a great place emotionally right now. I have a lot going on, he listened, we talked about it. This for us is big.
Then he told me had a huge headache that had been bugging him all day, so I gave him a massage to see if it would help. It did.
We agreed that we are in this thing together, for life. We are finally on the same page.
Today was a good day for us in R.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
Posts: 7444 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Inside my head |
JanaGreen
♀ 29341
Member # 29341 | | Posted: 4:07 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
I'm going to try to stay awake long enough this evening to rock his world. The pollen and allergy hell might get me first though.
But srsly, we're working as a team on getting our house sold, a place to live, and building a new house. That's a lot of stuff! And I'm very proud of him due to his success with his business and I intend to let him know this when I get home.
Proud mom to a lovely young lady and a sweet little boy.
Posts: 8398 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Southeast US |
UKlady
♀ 39058
Member # 39058 |  Posted: 5:27 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Please excuse my ignorance but 'nooner'??
Me: BW 45
Him: WH 48
Married: 6 years, together 9 years
D-day: 3 January 2013 - he confessed.
A: June-Dec 2012
No children.
Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK |
crazyblindsided
♀ 35215
Member # 35215 | | Posted: 5:35 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
I'm going to try to stay awake long enough this evening to rock his world.
I'm with Jana on this one 
BS/FWS (me):43 Madhatter
WS/BS:46 Serial Cheater
Together 20 years, Married 15
DD(13) DS(10)
DDay(s) Too many to count
False R 7/11/14 Same OW2
"Never seek validation from those who are unworthy."
Posts: 4044 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California |
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024 | | Posted: 5:37 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Posts: 13298 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA |
libertyrocks
♀ 38924
Member # 38924 | | Posted: 6:00 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
I didn't know what a nooner was, either and I'm a full on American girl!
But, yes to sex. I noticed the more we have it, the better I feel and closer I feel to him. Can't wait for tonight! We've been so busy lately.
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
Posts: 972 | Registered: Apr 2013 |
LA44
♀ 38384
Member # 38384 | | Posted: 6:33 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
Hey everyone, I seriously have a lump in my throat reading all you are doing for R.
I also noticed that there is a lot of ahem..."randiness" out there! UK Lady, I am trying to use a British term now! Did I get that right? Being a Canadian gal with our neighbours to the south, I am going to find a way to make everyone happy....eh?
Jana: I hear ya! Allergy season picking up! I use 12 hr Reactine, a herbal supplement called, Aller Plex and homeopathic tablets called, Histamine (or something to that effect) for little flare ups. Fingers crossed!
But seriously SI posters, thanks for sharing!
LA
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh |
OptimisticWife
♀ 36587
Member # 36587 | | Posted: 7:10 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
I'm sitting in my IC's office waiting for my appointment. H has sent me a nice supportive message
Posts: 191 | Registered: Aug 2012 |
Conflicted1
♀ 39019
Member # 39019 | | Posted: 7:15 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
I bought tickets to showing of Star Trek for tomorrow night and sent to him in email. I HATE scifi so he knows its a sacrifice for him.
Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.
Posts: 101 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Me=BW 45 |
musiclovingmom
♀ 38207
Member # 38207 | | Posted: 7:59 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013 | |
My H has been at work for 14 hours so far today. His kids are home, clean, fed and calm. His suitcase is unpacked and his clothes are clean and folded. The toys are picked up off the floor. Dinner is waiting for him and there is cold beer in the fridge.
And, I got a Depo shot so we don't have to worry about condoms the entire time we are waiting for me to have a permanent birth control procedure.
Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013 |
| Topic Posts: 26 | |
