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LA44 (original poster member #38384) posted at 8:20 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
So...what is everyone doing to R today? To mend, repair, heal, help their relationship.
I will start....we had some fun texts and then made a nooner appt. He had IC and we discussed what he MIGHT want to talk about. Up to him of course (just asked that he not talk about the nooner). 
Who's next?
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 8:42 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
He can't talk about the nooner, but you can???? 
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
sodamnlost ( member #37190) posted at 9:00 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Not leaving counts some days right?!?!? <BIG SIGH>
In reality, taking some me time, to help sort out where my head is - it's holding me and US back. Need to find a way to grow some gonads for tomorrow's appointment with the surgeon too.
Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016
Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an
LA44 (original poster member #38384) posted at 9:03 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
You're are right Sisoon! Me being "immature" again! haha
Sodamnlost - surgery? HUGS to you!
Just wanted to post something that shows us posters in POSITIVE action. No doubt I know I will post something sad/angry at some point!
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Searchingforhope ( member #38437) posted at 9:13 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Nice to post a positive LA44..
I am keeping it in the the forefront of my mind that my H was mentally insane and broken during the A so that I can feel compassion for him instead of rage. (See my post)
Does that count? 
Me: BW 51 at the time(didn't have a clue)
Him: FWH 54 at the time(extremely remorseful about his stupid midlife crisis)
Married 27 yrs at the time
DDAY 04/25/12
Working on R
PA Lasted 2 weeks. OW totally screwed up $@#%.
Lostinthismess ( member #39210) posted at 9:19 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Bought not just friends to read and see if it would be helpful for him to read....
Flirted with him over text all the while mulling over how he could have done this 
'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'
LA44 (original poster member #38384) posted at 9:24 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Searching: Of course that counts! I think feeling compassion for someone who hurts us is a HUGE sign of maturity, grace and strength.
Lost: I know...I get it. I think the same thing when we are being romantic or even just having a nice family time. I do remember reading in After the Affair, Spring wrote...don't wait until you feel 100% loving to ACT that way - it might never happen!
Our cores are good and strong, people. Believe that!
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
huRtZ413 ( member #39214) posted at 9:28 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Lostinthismess love the tag _HOPE :)
thats awesome some i need to put on my bathroom mirror .
as for the post
We flirted through text today and showed understanding about the emotional ups and downs we both have throughout the day . he felt down he would txt and tell me and i would do the same and we reminded each other that we choose forever with each other and it makes us both feel better....hes is excited to come home today
me_BW
him_WH
I'M ON THE FENCE
libertyrocks ( member #38924) posted at 9:32 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Just wanted to post something that shows us posters in POSITIVE action. No doubt I know I will post something sad/angry at some point!
I like your style LA44!!
I told my H how much I loved him and after 13 years, confessed it was love at first sight...I told him I appreciate all the big and little things he does and how I"m proud of the MAN he he has become.
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
20WrongsVs1 ( member #39000) posted at 9:36 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Recognizing how sweet and compassionate BH is to our family and friends, by telling him, and giving him big smooches and hugs.
Not leaving counts some days right?
Yes. Thanking BH for not leaving. Or booting my sorry butt out.
fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 10:03 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Lets see,
I went to IC today, came home, told him that I was just not in a great place emotionally right now. I have a lot going on, he listened, we talked about it. This for us is big.
Then he told me had a huge headache that had been bugging him all day, so I gave him a massage to see if it would help. It did.
We agreed that we are in this thing together, for life. We are finally on the same page.
Today was a good day for us in R.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 10:07 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I'm going to try to stay awake long enough this evening to rock his world. The pollen and allergy hell might get me first though.
But srsly, we're working as a team on getting our house sold, a place to live, and building a new house. That's a lot of stuff! And I'm very proud of him due to his success with his business and I intend to let him know this when I get home.
UKlady ( member #39058) posted at 11:27 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Please excuse my ignorance but 'nooner'??
Me: BW 45
Him: WH 48
Married: 6 years, together 9 years
D-day: 3 January 2013 - he confessed.
A: June-Dec 2012
No children.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 11:35 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I'm going to try to stay awake long enough this evening to rock his world.
I'm with Jana on this one 
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 11:37 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
'nooner'??
American colloquialism for sex at lunch time or 12:00 PM. You are not ignorant UKLady. 
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
libertyrocks ( member #38924) posted at 12:00 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
I didn't know what a nooner was, either and I'm a full on American girl!
But, yes to sex. I noticed the more we have it, the better I feel and closer I feel to him. Can't wait for tonight! We've been so busy lately.
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
LA44 (original poster member #38384) posted at 12:33 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
Hey everyone, I seriously have a lump in my throat reading all you are doing for R.
I also noticed that there is a lot of ahem..."randiness" out there! UK Lady, I am trying to use a British term now! Did I get that right? Being a Canadian gal with our neighbours to the south, I am going to find a way to make everyone happy....eh?
Jana: I hear ya! Allergy season picking up! I use 12 hr Reactine, a herbal supplement called, Aller Plex and homeopathic tablets called, Histamine (or something to that effect) for little flare ups. Fingers crossed!
But seriously SI posters, thanks for sharing!
LA
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
OptimisticWife ( member #36587) posted at 1:10 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
I'm sitting in my IC's office waiting for my appointment. H has sent me a nice supportive message
Conflicted1 ( member #39019) posted at 1:15 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
I bought tickets to showing of Star Trek for tomorrow night and sent to him in email. I HATE scifi so he knows its a sacrifice for him.
Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.
musiclovingmom ( member #38207) posted at 1:59 AM on Friday, May 24th, 2013
My H has been at work for 14 hours so far today. His kids are home, clean, fed and calm. His suitcase is unpacked and his clothes are clean and folded. The toys are picked up off the floor. Dinner is waiting for him and there is cold beer in the fridge.
And, I got a Depo shot so we don't have to worry about condoms the entire time we are waiting for me to have a permanent birth control procedure.
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