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LA44 posted 5/23/2013 14:20 PM

So...what is everyone doing to R today? To mend, repair, heal, help their relationship.

I will start....we had some fun texts and then made a nooner appt. He had IC and we discussed what he MIGHT want to talk about. Up to him of course (just asked that he not talk about the nooner).

Who's next?

sisoon posted 5/23/2013 14:42 PM

He can't talk about the nooner, but you can????

sodamnlost posted 5/23/2013 15:00 PM

Not leaving counts some days right?!?!? <BIG SIGH>

In reality, taking some me time, to help sort out where my head is - it's holding me and US back. Need to find a way to grow some gonads for tomorrow's appointment with the surgeon too.

LA44 posted 5/23/2013 15:03 PM

You're are right Sisoon! Me being "immature" again! haha

Sodamnlost - surgery? HUGS to you!

Just wanted to post something that shows us posters in POSITIVE action. No doubt I know I will post something sad/angry at some point!

Searchingforhope posted 5/23/2013 15:13 PM

Nice to post a positive LA44..

I am keeping it in the the forefront of my mind that my H was mentally insane and broken during the A so that I can feel compassion for him instead of rage. (See my post)

Does that count?

Lostinthismess posted 5/23/2013 15:19 PM

Bought not just friends to read and see if it would be helpful for him to read....
Flirted with him over text all the while mulling over how he could have done this

LA44 posted 5/23/2013 15:24 PM

Searching: Of course that counts! I think feeling compassion for someone who hurts us is a HUGE sign of maturity, grace and strength.

Lost: I know...I get it. I think the same thing when we are being romantic or even just having a nice family time. I do remember reading in After the Affair, Spring wrote...don't wait until you feel 100% loving to ACT that way - it might never happen!

Our cores are good and strong, people. Believe that!

huRtZ413 posted 5/23/2013 15:28 PM

Lostinthismess love the tag _HOPE :)

thats awesome some i need to put on my bathroom mirror .

as for the post

We flirted through text today and showed understanding about the emotional ups and downs we both have throughout the day . he felt down he would txt and tell me and i would do the same and we reminded each other that we choose forever with each other and it makes us both feel better....hes is excited to come home today

libertyrocks posted 5/23/2013 15:32 PM

Just wanted to post something that shows us posters in POSITIVE action. No doubt I know I will post something sad/angry at some point!

I like your style LA44!!

I told my H how much I loved him and after 13 years, confessed it was love at first sight...I told him I appreciate all the big and little things he does and how I"m proud of the MAN he he has become.

20WrongsVs1 posted 5/23/2013 15:36 PM

Recognizing how sweet and compassionate BH is to our family and friends, by telling him, and giving him big smooches and hugs.

Not leaving counts some days right?

Yes. Thanking BH for not leaving. Or booting my sorry butt out.

tired girl posted 5/23/2013 16:03 PM

Lets see,

I went to IC today, came home, told him that I was just not in a great place emotionally right now. I have a lot going on, he listened, we talked about it. This for us is big.

Then he told me had a huge headache that had been bugging him all day, so I gave him a massage to see if it would help. It did.

We agreed that we are in this thing together, for life. We are finally on the same page.

Today was a good day for us in R.

JanaGreen posted 5/23/2013 16:07 PM

I'm going to try to stay awake long enough this evening to rock his world. The pollen and allergy hell might get me first though.

But srsly, we're working as a team on getting our house sold, a place to live, and building a new house. That's a lot of stuff! And I'm very proud of him due to his success with his business and I intend to let him know this when I get home.

UKlady posted 5/23/2013 17:27 PM

Please excuse my ignorance but 'nooner'??

crazyblindsided posted 5/23/2013 17:35 PM

I'm going to try to stay awake long enough this evening to rock his world.

I'm with Jana on this one

SisterMilkshake posted 5/23/2013 17:37 PM

'nooner'??

libertyrocks posted 5/23/2013 18:00 PM

I didn't know what a nooner was, either and I'm a full on American girl!

But, yes to sex. I noticed the more we have it, the better I feel and closer I feel to him. Can't wait for tonight! We've been so busy lately.

LA44 posted 5/23/2013 18:33 PM

Hey everyone, I seriously have a lump in my throat reading all you are doing for R.

I also noticed that there is a lot of ahem..."randiness" out there! UK Lady, I am trying to use a British term now! Did I get that right? Being a Canadian gal with our neighbours to the south, I am going to find a way to make everyone happy....eh?

Jana: I hear ya! Allergy season picking up! I use 12 hr Reactine, a herbal supplement called, Aller Plex and homeopathic tablets called, Histamine (or something to that effect) for little flare ups. Fingers crossed!

But seriously SI posters, thanks for sharing!

LA

OptimisticWife posted 5/23/2013 19:10 PM

I'm sitting in my IC's office waiting for my appointment. H has sent me a nice supportive message

Conflicted1 posted 5/23/2013 19:15 PM

I bought tickets to showing of Star Trek for tomorrow night and sent to him in email. I HATE scifi so he knows its a sacrifice for him.

musiclovingmom posted 5/23/2013 19:59 PM

My H has been at work for 14 hours so far today. His kids are home, clean, fed and calm. His suitcase is unpacked and his clothes are clean and folded. The toys are picked up off the floor. Dinner is waiting for him and there is cold beer in the fridge.
And, I got a Depo shot so we don't have to worry about condoms the entire time we are waiting for me to have a permanent birth control procedure.