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roughroadahead (original poster member #36060) posted at 9:29 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Ugh. Following waffle's surprise filing, I got the certified mail notice today. It is on the court docket too. It was a bit jarring seeing "waffle v. roughroadahead"
Still sit and wonder how I got here.
BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism
KeepOnMovin ( member #38245) posted at 9:39 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
((((roughroadhead))))
It's difficult to see your marriage (20+ years for me) reduced to a few sheets of paper. I often wonder how i got here too.
It's tough, that's for sure.
Post often. We're here for you.
Me: Creating a better life for myself
Her: Somebody else's problem
Married: 22 years
2 sons at home
1 son in college
Divorced on 9/4/14!
Often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 10:11 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I'm sorry, RoughRoad.
I chuckle every time I read the word "Waffle", and thank you for it. Superb name.
This is one part that I finally did in honor of control. I simply could not bear thinking of myself as "Defendent", when I wanted the M and so badly. Also, I was haunted by the idea of not knowing when I would get the papers and it gave me panic.
It is surreal to see our names as "vs" because yes, it's the very same names...I can't stand looking at them and actually have a bunch of reading to, but don't know how to handle it emotionally.
I'm really sorry again, RRA. I'm waiting each day for that peace that people say descends upon us.
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
LadyQ ( member #32847) posted at 10:33 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
I filed, because I couldn't tolerate the situation, and I knew he wouldn't do it. He'd be happy to live in limbo.
The hardest part was the court hearing. It took all of 20 minutes to dissolve my 21 year marriage.
Hang in there, rough. It'll get better
Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 11:13 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
roughroadahead (original poster member #36060) posted at 11:14 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Fortunately, our IRL names are different. I never took his last name, praise the gods. I will be the plaintiff in the long haul. The only grounds he has on which to file is "incompatibility". In order to go through, I have to "admit" that in my answer. If I deny, he has no option to prove it. It's gone.
My counterclaim will be for different (not adultery) grounds, that I can prove if he denies. So basically, his claim is dismissed, and mine will be the ones standing.
It still sucks. I had made peace with our sep agreement. Then MOW and her BH file for dissolution, and suddenly he's rushing for the courthouse. He is a freaking puppet. What a moron. He is going to spend a shit ton in lawyer's fees for a contested divorce.
After filing, he was all friendly and chatty yesterday. I told him to screw off.
I have a new IC that I already like more than the old one. Yay. Divorce will now take as long as I can humanly (and ethically) stretch it out so I keep the IC.
Bravo, waffle.
[This message edited by roughroadahead at 5:37 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)]
BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism
ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 11:22 PM on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013
Hugs. I'm in no rush either as I have superb health insurance right now with IC and meds and everything at minimal cost. He can drag this out as long as he pleases 
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