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roughroadahead posted 5/23/2013 15:29 PM

Ugh. Following waffle's surprise filing, I got the certified mail notice today. It is on the court docket too. It was a bit jarring seeing "waffle v. roughroadahead"

Still sit and wonder how I got here.

KeepOnMovin posted 5/23/2013 15:39 PM

((((roughroadhead))))

It's difficult to see your marriage (20+ years for me) reduced to a few sheets of paper. I often wonder how i got here too.

It's tough, that's for sure.

Post often. We're here for you.

Ashland13 posted 5/23/2013 16:11 PM

I'm sorry, RoughRoad.

I chuckle every time I read the word "Waffle", and thank you for it. Superb name.

This is one part that I finally did in honor of control. I simply could not bear thinking of myself as "Defendent", when I wanted the M and so badly. Also, I was haunted by the idea of not knowing when I would get the papers and it gave me panic.

It is surreal to see our names as "vs" because yes, it's the very same names...I can't stand looking at them and actually have a bunch of reading to, but don't know how to handle it emotionally.

I'm really sorry again, RRA. I'm waiting each day for that peace that people say descends upon us.

LadyQ posted 5/23/2013 16:33 PM

I filed, because I couldn't tolerate the situation, and I knew he wouldn't do it. He'd be happy to live in limbo.

The hardest part was the court hearing. It took all of 20 minutes to dissolve my 21 year marriage.

Hang in there, rough. It'll get better

jo2love posted 5/23/2013 17:13 PM

((((roughroadhead))))

roughroadahead posted 5/23/2013 17:14 PM

Fortunately, our IRL names are different. I never took his last name, praise the gods. I will be the plaintiff in the long haul. The only grounds he has on which to file is "incompatibility". In order to go through, I have to "admit" that in my answer. If I deny, he has no option to prove it. It's gone.

My counterclaim will be for different (not adultery) grounds, that I can prove if he denies. So basically, his claim is dismissed, and mine will be the ones standing.

It still sucks. I had made peace with our sep agreement. Then MOW and her BH file for dissolution, and suddenly he's rushing for the courthouse. He is a freaking puppet. What a moron. He is going to spend a shit ton in lawyer's fees for a contested divorce.

After filing, he was all friendly and chatty yesterday. I told him to screw off.

I have a new IC that I already like more than the old one. Yay. Divorce will now take as long as I can humanly (and ethically) stretch it out so I keep the IC.

Bravo, waffle.

[This message edited by roughroadahead at 5:37 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)]

ButterflyGirl posted 5/23/2013 17:22 PM

Hugs. I'm in no rush either as I have superb health insurance right now with IC and meds and everything at minimal cost. He can drag this out as long as he pleases