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huRtZ413 posted 5/23/2013 18:00 PM

Unfair that we love these WS so much ! That they could have had they're fun on the side and still have us. .......I'm sad

Sure he's doing all the right things now but I still get sad ...sure he did plan on a ONS yeah he didn't know her and sure they never spoke a word after and yeah he was pretty cruel to her kicking her out even then still hurts pretty bad . I just look at others stories who have been through worse an Long A or long EA where they're WS was in love I don't know how you beautiful BS do it . I can barely handle this I most positively couldn't have bared a LTA !

huRtZ413 posted 5/23/2013 18:02 PM

(Did not plan on a ONS she just came along at the right time at his weakest)

libertyrocks posted 5/23/2013 18:06 PM

It's a true test of forgivness. Some can do it, others simply cannot. My H is lucky I went to Catholic school and learned to forgive and love unconditionally at a young age! lol.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 6:07 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)]

Lucky posted 5/23/2013 20:32 PM

That they could have had they're fun on the side

Sweetie.. first thing to learn, there is nothing, nothing, nothing fun about an affair.


Hearthache again posted 5/23/2013 23:48 PM

I agree nothing fun about an A.

You are suppose to hurt and be sad, A's are horrible no matter what kind it is. There is nothing but heartache caused by our WS poor decisions.

We do this because we see hope in our futures. We don't want to give up on something that can be so great. I also didn't want the few bad mistakes that my H made to dictate my future and all the good times we did have. I also wanted to be able to tell my 4 children I tried the best I could at staying married to their father.

libertyrocks posted 5/24/2013 11:31 AM

Hmmm, really??
I know my H was having fun partying it up with a bunch of college kids, drinking, hooking up with chicks...

What do you mean? Not fun??

Hmmm, although now that you mention it, H "claims" he was miserable, I think he just felt guilty and figured since he did it once, he would just keep on doing it. Because you know, according to my H, "we were doomed."

cali1002 posted 5/24/2013 11:43 AM

If it weren't for my kids, I wouldn't be in R because he treated me so disrespectfully. I also think back to the time when we were happy together and why I love him and think that maybe giving R a shot will help us get back to being in love again. If our R doesn't work out, then I will know that our love for each other is truly over.

hopefulmother posted 5/24/2013 13:03 PM

You took the words right out of my mind. hurtz413

I don't know how they do it. I can hardly stand mine. It was only a 2month EA.

so_lost posted 5/24/2013 13:15 PM

I don't think he had fun. Try not to romanticize it. He probably feels dirty, disgusted with himself, and extremely guilty. If he doesn't feel this way now, he will soon.

My FWH feels all of these things about his 8 month affair (7 months EA, 1 month PA). He tells me, "At least you can still hold your head up high." Knowing he feels these things makes me feel compassion towards him and his actions. I'm close to forgiveness. It's taken me 8 years to get to this point:(

SisterMilkshake posted 5/24/2013 15:18 PM

Oh, heck yeah, my FWH had fun. He still won't say he didn't enjoy the sex. He enjoyed the hell out of his fuckfests.

Now, is he disgusted by himself? Yes, he is. If you asked him if it was worth it, he would definitely say it wasn't worth it. But ask him if he enjoyed the sex, he will say "yes", because he has integrity. Now.

mamak posted 5/24/2013 16:40 PM

I don't know how they do it. I can hardly stand mine. It was only a 2month EA.

WHs was a 3 month EA and I can't even wrap my head around how he enjoyed it. He says I romanticize it too much but all the love emails and phone calls, sneaky off to the Walmart parking lot to call her, was something he enjoyed because he kept doing it.....over and over....

I love him but sometimes I am disgusted with what he did.

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