...as their WS?
We are 8 months post DDay.
I'm in IC with 2 different therapists. One is our EAP counsellor and the other is my meditation/yoga teacher with whom I do several workshops a year.
My meditation/yoga teacher/therapist has over 20 years experience as a psychotherapist so she's not shy about telling us what she thinks of our personalities. After studying meditation and yoga for over 2 years with her, she says my biggest problems are that I have a victim complex and had no role models growing up.
My regular IC has identified that I spend too much time and energy worrying, thus ruining my day to day experience of life (I've done this the whole 11 years we've been married). I am astounded by this observation. Also, she identified that even though I set new boundaries in my M, I'm seemingly the one who's having the most trouble becoming comfortable within these new parameters, essentially waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm a mess of fear and anxiety.
I never had any idea I was so fucked up. My fWH's A has brought all my issues to the surface. The first to rear their ugly heads were FOO and sexual abuse. I cannot get enough of HB (i think i would have a nervous breakdown if we went back to 1 time a week).
I am totally insecure about my M, so much so that I am trying to impose how my fWH should recover from his A. I have been feeling desperate to "fix him". I think "I know better", in fact I've been listening to my thoughts closely lately and I pretty much think I'm better than anyone else.
I'm reading "Codependant No More" by Melody Beattie and I can't believe how much I identify.
My fWH's A held a mirror up to my life and my thinking and it's a blessing in disguise to be able to face my issues with the help of some good therapists but its also been a terrible shock, especially since I started out on this journey 8 months ago thinking my fWH was the only one who was "broken".
I don't know which way is up anymore. It doesn't help that I'm in the anger stage right now, so not only am I testy but I'm paranoid and convinced I'm right! I'm intolerable right now.
[This message edited by Knowing at 10:18 PM, May 23rd, 2013 (Thursday)]