Congrats on your new baby.
My W was happy with our M when she cheated, too. You know ... she had one good relationship, and ow said she was so special she could love me and ow simultaneously....
More seriously - although the above is true - Shirley Glass proposes that As happen in good Ms if the WS has poor boundaries.
The main reason I'm writing, though, is to suggest you reframe your thinking into a positive mode. If your MC suggest delaying MC further, it could be because you're making progress in IC that will make MC go better and faster when you do start it.
Being broken is just a fact; it doesn't mean you're a bad person. IC is an opportunity to fix yourself - you do the work, you get the benefit, you expand your capabilities and build up your strength.
It's sad that you're broken, but it's great that you have the opportunity to get yourself healthy.
The less energy you use on beating yourself and other people up, the more energy you have to heal and to enjoy your health as it develops.