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so tired of the ups and downs

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savvy posted 5/24/2013 16:03 PM

I should be in a happy enough place right now, my daughter is home from college, and I am excited to have her here. I just am feeling quite down right now. Yesterday when I spoke to husband he told me he feels like he is getting his shit together and is feeling better about things. I asked what that means for us. He said its a good thing but one step at a time. He only recently started IC. I felt like this was a positive sign but so worried about getting my hopes up. I am going out for pedicure and dinner with friend tonight hopefully it will pick me up. Just needed to post I am so tired of this rollercoaster ride!!

stilltrying2025 posted 5/24/2013 16:18 PM

(((savvy)))

I have no words of encouragement.....I'm sorry! All I can say is hang in there girl At least your WH still talks to you, mine won't respond to me at all. I rooting for ya!

Enjoy your time with your daughter and with your friend tonight. That should help bring your mood up, at least a little bit!

savvy posted 5/24/2013 16:26 PM

Thanks stilltrying, yes it should bring my mood up. And I hope you find some peace soon also!

Life is too short for this kind of pain !!

stilltrying2025 posted 5/24/2013 16:34 PM

Thank you savvy! I'm hoping for some peace soon too

kabee posted 5/24/2013 20:51 PM

I am so sorry. I get depressed when my son comes home from college and I'm not sure why. This is all so new for you. I just came out of the fog in April. I swear I don't remember the fall and winter of 2012. All I can tell you is that it gets better. IC medication and sleep. It is sooo painful. This website saved me and gave me perspective and hope. I had never been so scared and hurt but SI helped me understand and take it step by step. Hang in there.

Pippy posted 5/25/2013 11:02 AM

Be good to yourself and get out lots. Don't call him to see how it stands. This just lets him know you are waiting. You have to make him worry that you are moving on without him. Let him hear you are having a life without him.

A cat only chases a mouse that is running away.

Dawn58 posted 5/25/2013 11:15 AM

My son came home for college a couple of weeks ago, it was good to see him and for a little while, I almost felt like myself.

I have no contact with the cheater - changed my phone numbers and have blocked his emails. It just hurts too much. I am not asking anyone how he is doing - hurts too much. I am not perfect with the NC - but the more I am able to do it, the less extreme are my ups and downs.

I am exhausted by this roller coaster ride and realized that some of my actions make it worse.

Keep yourself busy. I am not good about taking care of myself, have not had a pedicure in nearly 5 years!!! I isolated myself in the marriage, so am trying to go out and make some new friends.

I spent the last 8 years so focused on him, taking care of him, trying to give him the time and attention he required, that I lost myself. I do not want to give him anymore of me - so I am trying to focus on my own life. What do I like? What do I want my life to look like? Not at all sure what that is now, on the road of discovery. For the first time in my life, I can create the life that I want - no husbands to try to please, my son is away at school and creating his own life.

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