My son came home for college a couple of weeks ago, it was good to see him and for a little while, I almost felt like myself.
I have no contact with the cheater - changed my phone numbers and have blocked his emails. It just hurts too much. I am not asking anyone how he is doing - hurts too much. I am not perfect with the NC - but the more I am able to do it, the less extreme are my ups and downs.
I am exhausted by this roller coaster ride and realized that some of my actions make it worse.
Keep yourself busy. I am not good about taking care of myself, have not had a pedicure in nearly 5 years!!! I isolated myself in the marriage, so am trying to go out and make some new friends.
I spent the last 8 years so focused on him, taking care of him, trying to give him the time and attention he required, that I lost myself. I do not want to give him anymore of me - so I am trying to focus on my own life. What do I like? What do I want my life to look like? Not at all sure what that is now, on the road of discovery. For the first time in my life, I can create the life that I want - no husbands to try to please, my son is away at school and creating his own life.