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ProbableIceCream (original poster member #37468) posted at 12:16 AM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013
I feel like I'm starting to slowly put my life back together, but it still feels really hollow sometimes. Not all of it. I feel great about what I do at work, for example, and I have some hobby type stuff that I like. But overall I don't have the sense of 'meaningfulness' that I used to have. And sometimes I do have trouble being interested in things.. really depends on the day. Going out usually feels good.
Sounds like someone describing really low grade depression, eh?
Anyway, this is just a small vent.. I'll just keep working on stuff. Just feeling a little flat today. Probably doesn't help that I have a cold.
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 12:21 AM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013
Look at it this way; if you were 'up' all the time, you'd burn yourself out. This is your psyche's way of chilling. You're going through a trauma, so don't expect to be 100% for a while.
You're probably doing a lot better than I did at your stage.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
tabitha95 ( member #22033) posted at 1:22 AM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013
I get it. I sometimes wonder if I would get diagnosed as bi-polar, but I don't have the manic part. Just different degrees of up and down. My ups don't last as long as my down's though.
BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).
phmh ( member #34146) posted at 1:46 AM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013
Do you volunteer at all? Studies have shown that's one of the best ways to feel good about yourself.
What used to give your life meaning?
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
ProbableIceCream (original poster member #37468) posted at 11:59 AM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013
phmh, volunteering is a good idea. I've been meaning to do some volunteering anyway soon.
I'll have to think about your question. It's 4 AM here and my brain's not fully on yet.
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 12:30 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013
Exercise helps too.
Ae you familiar with the SI concept of the "plain of lethal flatness"?
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
ProbableIceCream (original poster member #37468) posted at 12:55 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
Amazonia, I just read about the plain of lethal flatness after reading your post.
When it was cooler out (I live in a very hot place) I jogged a lot. Now I manage 2.4 miles a week of walking, but that's kind of a bare minimum figure. I think until I figure out something better I'm going switch to tracking steps on a pedometer to ensure a minimum level of exercise (because honestly, more of my walking happens indoors and at work than it does outside, and I think I could boost that gradually).
ideservebetter45 ( member #36951) posted at 1:51 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
I feel this way too.. sometimes I feel like a big loser..I feel sad. .I see my friends moving on doing family things. .I hate starting over
ProbableIceCream (original poster member #37468) posted at 4:53 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013
ideservebetter45, it is a little sad sometimes. I still feel a little cheated, when I'm completely honest with myself.
But it doesn't have to be that way forever.
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