"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

roughroadahead posted 5/25/2013 08:35 AM

So I went out for my first meet up last night. The weather here has been unseasonably cold, so we ended up staying in a restaurant and not doing the actual meet up activity.

The good: they were all nice, smart people. It was great to be able to hang out with a friendly group and just chat. Potential for new friends if the same people come back to other meetups.

The bad: when I got there, the organizer was wearing the exact same shirt as one that waffle owns. By the end of it, I was actually wondering if it was possible to not be ready for even a meet up in the way people aren't ready for dating. Staying in the restaurant thanks to the terrible weather was fun, and a band played later in the evening. I ended up missing waffle. It was the exact kind of activity we used to do during dating and the pre-kid M.

Overall, I think it went well. I will most likely try another.

scotslass posted 5/25/2013 09:37 AM

I know it's hard to take that first step. But you did it!

Congratulations to you. I believe when we make these steps by ourselves (with no friend or partner beside us) it just goes to show ourselves how strong we really are..... you rock....keep going.....I promise you in a little while you will love getting out and meeting new people who will become great friends.

FaithFool posted 5/25/2013 10:11 AM

I did the same thing after about a year on my own and felt the same way.

I wasn't ready.

Have not done another meet up since, but may get involved in some volunteering at some point.

I'm ok being alone for now.

roughroadahead posted 5/25/2013 10:34 AM

Faith: I would not have chosen a sit at a restaurant and listen to a band meet up, that's for sure! I was aiming for ones with a purpose, like going for hikes or something.

It may well be that I'm not ready, but I am willing to give it another chance when there is an activity involved. Preferably something I don't associate with that man.

Sad in AZ posted 5/25/2013 10:40 AM

I think you're on to something. My best meetup group was a hiking group in Phoenix; I REALLY enjoyed the group and the hikes, and it was something the X would NEVER have done. I actually could not bring myself to go to a more social meetup--it was at a comedy club; I drove all the way over to it, drove around the block several times, went to a fast food place for an ice cream, drove back to the club again--and went home!

persevere posted 5/25/2013 13:08 PM

I've only gone to one so far too - it was kayaking on the lake - a lot of fun. But I haven't gone to another one yet. I'm shying away from the bar/music meetups so far, but I'm thinking about doing some hikes - there are quite a few every week here.

Amazonia posted 5/26/2013 06:31 AM

I ended up missing waffle. It was the exact kind of activity we used to do during dating and the pre-kid M.

I don't think you can exclude yourself from doing the kinds of activities you did with your ex. I mean, you did many of things things because you (singular) enjoyed them. It's okay to reclaim those things you enjoyed and keep doing them, without him, now.