Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: sccssx

New Beginnings :
my first meet up

This Topic is Archived
default

 roughroadahead (original poster member #36060) posted at 2:35 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013

So I went out for my first meet up last night. The weather here has been unseasonably cold, so we ended up staying in a restaurant and not doing the actual meet up activity.

The good: they were all nice, smart people. It was great to be able to hang out with a friendly group and just chat. Potential for new friends if the same people come back to other meetups.

The bad: when I got there, the organizer was wearing the exact same shirt as one that waffle owns. By the end of it, I was actually wondering if it was possible to not be ready for even a meet up in the way people aren't ready for dating. Staying in the restaurant thanks to the terrible weather was fun, and a band played later in the evening. I ended up missing waffle. It was the exact kind of activity we used to do during dating and the pre-kid M.

Overall, I think it went well. I will most likely try another.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

posts: 751   ·   registered: Jul. 9th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6349248
default

scotslass ( member #39204) posted at 3:37 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013

I know it's hard to take that first step. But you did it!

Congratulations to you. I believe when we make these steps by ourselves (with no friend or partner beside us) it just goes to show ourselves how strong we really are..... you rock....keep going.....I promise you in a little while you will love getting out and meeting new people who will become great friends.

Me. - moving on and upward !!!

posts: 102   ·   registered: May. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Great Britain
id 6349292
default

FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 4:11 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013

I did the same thing after about a year on my own and felt the same way.

I wasn't ready.

Have not done another meet up since, but may get involved in some volunteering at some point.

I'm ok being alone for now.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6349327
default

 roughroadahead (original poster member #36060) posted at 4:34 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013

Faith: I would not have chosen a sit at a restaurant and listen to a band meet up, that's for sure! I was aiming for ones with a purpose, like going for hikes or something.

It may well be that I'm not ready, but I am willing to give it another chance when there is an activity involved. Preferably something I don't associate with that man.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

posts: 751   ·   registered: Jul. 9th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6349355
default

Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 4:40 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013

I think you're on to something. My best meetup group was a hiking group in Phoenix; I REALLY enjoyed the group and the hikes, and it was something the X would NEVER have done. I actually could not bring myself to go to a more social meetup--it was at a comedy club; I drove all the way over to it, drove around the block several times, went to a fast food place for an ice cream, drove back to the club again--and went home!

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6349361
default

persevere ( member #31468) posted at 7:08 PM on Saturday, May 25th, 2013

I've only gone to one so far too - it was kayaking on the lake - a lot of fun. But I haven't gone to another one yet. I'm shying away from the bar/music meetups so far, but I'm thinking about doing some hikes - there are quite a few every week here.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6349463
default

Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 12:31 PM on Sunday, May 26th, 2013

I ended up missing waffle. It was the exact kind of activity we used to do during dating and the pre-kid M.

I don't think you can exclude yourself from doing the kinds of activities you did with your ex. I mean, you did many of things things because you (singular) enjoyed them. It's okay to reclaim those things you enjoyed and keep doing them, without him, now.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

posts: 14469   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011
id 6349970
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy