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LotuStrong posted 5/26/2013 12:43 PM

Things were going well! We were in the process of building a brand new house we started in January, financially things were good. Then. It all started March 20th, two months ago. He had gone into a funk about 10 days earlier and he wasn’t sure what was up. Then on that day when I had been a t my current job for only two days he left saying he needed “space” he was sorry, he just needed time, and he couldn’t take it right now. Ok, fast forward 2 days I get a text saying he wants a divorce. Of course I fall apart, call him, pleading, begging not to do this, but he won’t be swayed. He says he NEVER loved me, Then a few days later, he calls me and says he will be going out with someone that night and “moving on.” He said he called me as a curtosey, meanwhile this is only 6 days after he left. Well, come to find out that weekend he drains our bank account spending money for her on clothes and dinners out and bowling etc. He purchased a brand new truck and had his mistress accompany him to all these events, INCLUDING having divorce papers drawn up by a paralegal. So he files, then I get an attorney, then after that it ALL starts to reveal itself. She is a 24 year old 711 clerk, they had been talking since February, while she was engaged to ANOTHER MAN! He is 41, they moved in together, got matching tattoos with eachother’s names on their arms, he had her quit her job, he is her sole support, and they are trying to have a baby! We have no children. This woman has two wedding profiles online, one with my husband, and the other with her other fiancé, she has changed her last name to his and mine on facebook and has posted hurtful things including the tattoos for all of his family to see!! And! He keeps denying he CHEATED! He says well, “she respected the fact that I was married but when she heard that I was moving on she said “game on’” GAME ON?? Really??!! And he keeps insisting that he didn’t leave me for her, he left me for him. He had tried to leave before but always came back. We’ve already had our preliminary hearing, and she was there, I had her subpoenaed too. And it was all had holding and lovey dovey stuff between them while waiting to go into court……We’ve been married almost 9 years, but he shows no signs of remorse, or wanting to reconcile….and I know I shouldn’t want him back with all he’s done, but I do, I love him, and I don’t want to believe that this man I love would do all these things to me. Did we have problems, yes, was I perfect? No. Was he? No. But I can’t help but think that with a few tweaks we would have been ok….This man has been my first everything, and I am so lonely and scared….and I miss him terribly. I am a respectful, smart, attractive successful woman….I don’t understand her appeal……maybe it’s cause she’s new…..

Sad in AZ posted 5/26/2013 12:51 PM

Her appeal?? She's a twinkie and she's easy, which is important because he doesn't think he deserves anyone good--like you.

I'm sorry that you find yourself here, but it's a good place. Keep reading, asking questions and growing.

SI Staff posted 5/26/2013 12:53 PM

LotuStrong,

Please do not start duplicate threads in multiple forums.

Please use this thread in General:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=497338

Thanks.