They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
None of those issues you mentioned justified him turning into a selfish, lying, cheating POS. He's being a coward and not owning up to his own issues and accepting that the cheating was entirely his fault.
I know it hurts to hear. I feel terribly when my STBX says this kind of crap to me and family and friends and even our kids. But I'm just letting it go. He can think whatever the hell he wants. It doesn't change the truth..
You are right, he is just making up excuses, blameshifting things onto you.. You can accept some of the marriage problems. I accept some of ours. But don't let him use any of that as an excuse for his behavior regarding the cheating.
I would try to completely forget what he said and focus on the relationships that do matter, like the one with your daughter. Sounds like she knows he's a lying POS, so I'm sure what he said hasn't affected her feelings towards you.. And screw him for bad-mouthing you like this to your daughter and trying to act like he was an angel.. FTG!!
[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 2:12 PM, May 26th (Sunday)]
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
True friends and family will know the truth. Everyone else's opinion doesn't matter. Let him tell his little lies to whoever. You, on the other hand, know the truth and are moving forward with your head held high.
I understand the hurt. BTDT. Work through the pain and hurt. It will get better. Hugs and support, dmari
But my heart is broken that he thinks I am so terrible
He is letting people see into his soul with this statement.
He is projecting.....he knows HE is the one that is terrible.
You know who you are and who you have been. Your actions speak volumes , and anyone who has watched you knows the real you.
He can spout all kinds of nonsense but it doesn't change your value as a human being
Ignore the vile things WH is spouting off. I know it's really, really hard, but it's even worse if you internalize it.
Waywards say all the evil shit they think about themselves, except projected onto you. Once I realized XH was using me as sort of a mirror, it made dealing w/his shenanigans a little easier.
You mustn't believe all the wacky shit XH is spewing at you. You know the truth about your M.
My XH ran an awesome smear campaign from DD on. It got incredibly vicious once he was trying to legitimize OW. And I cried a million tears, believing he thought so poorly of me. It took a while to get it; like the A itself, that was also 100% about XH.
Conduct yourself w/dignity and others see it. Anybody who believes the wayward can pound sand.