He says it all rather matter of factly. When i say OUCH he says when you don't want me to minimize things. True, and ouch.
The compulsion. Sounds like a sort of addiction to me, or addictive behavior.
eta: Your WH has to go a little bit deeper for his reason(s), that is not the "reason" he had an affair. He needs to articulate that much better.
[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 3:08 PM, May 26th (Sunday)]
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
Drama because his wife would be upset with him going after this woman. I don't believe this is good thinking at all. Most people can control their impulses, he needs to find out why this was okay and he HAD to do it. He didn't have to do jack shit. His dick wasn't going to fall off, if he didn't sleep with her. HE wanted to, he didn't want you to find out. There was no had too.
After weeks of I don't knows
Sure and now he just wants you to leave it alone.
His answer is a lot of things.. none of them the "truth" he would like you to believe.
He's saying.." she was irresistible and so "it's not my fault".
He said it knowing it would hurt you and again.. you would blame yourself. leaving him "not responsible"
When i say OUCH he says when you don't want me to minimize things
And i'm sorry, but he is using this as an excuse to hurt you.
Whichever way you look at it he is being manipulative and gaslighting you.