BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
There is definitely an addictive or compulsion type of thing going on with a lot of affairs. I wouldn't say all, but in general, I feel it does become addictive behaviour. My FWH wanted to end it before he finally was able to end it. Partly because he was trying to "wean" OW off his awesome, magical penis, and secondly, because he was addicted to the behaviour, not the OW.
eta: Your WH has to go a little bit deeper for his reason(s), that is not the "reason" he had an affair. He needs to articulate that much better.
[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 3:08 PM, May 26th (Sunday)]
d-day 3/10; LTA
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson