My therapist suggested I let my attorney know. So I did and informed my attorney that my stbx has filed a false report and I'm just tired of the passive aggressive bullshit.
He strongly suggested I get a defense attorney. Shit. I just want my stbx to not file any more false theft reports. I just want him to stop.
I don't want this to affect me professionally ~ education, employment and volunteer, since I am in the process of rebuilding my life. Is there a chance this would affect it?
I'm also worried that if I get a defense attorney and he tells me to file against stbx for the false report, that this may be the trigger that makes stbx lose it. I'm always worried about what is the one thing that would make him lose it. I don't want him to come after me. I don't know if the police gave him back his weapons and badge yet and I can't find out.
All this for a fire extinguisher.
Passive-aggressives don't magically get better, right? Remind me that the fire extinguisher is not the last of it. Right?
I know that personally, being attacked and feeling attacked (not always the same thing) can trigger me into anxiety. While in the midst of a panic attack I would say/do/agree to nearly anything to get the feeling of being trapped or attacked to stop.
I would want someone rational by my side.
I also think a good counter attack is the best defense against a bully. An attorney is best to lead this charge.
I am afraid he won't stop as long as he feels in control and you responding to his accusations leaves him in control.
If this were just any D situation - I'd say screw it, go, tell them the truth. But given your STBX is a cop, and assuming you are going into his turf on this... I think a Def. Atty is a good idea. I'm just concerned they'll bully you, the whole brothers in blue thing...
My X is also a cop - but I don't know where the lines for this kind of thing: what they can ask? do? what games they could play? Can you ask to have it recorded? What if they say no?
The Def. Atty. should know the limits and keep them in line. And I'd be asking the Def. Atty. all that, to make sure he does know, before I hired one.
And if the Def.Atty. tells you to go after him for false charges... Well, you can cross that bridge when you get to it... maybe you could go after him civilly for the cost of the Def. Atty....?
Anyway, my 2 cents.
[This message edited by Take2 at 6:26 PM, May 26th (Sunday)]
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
What I learned from you all is that it's not about the "fire extinguisher" per se but the fact that he actually filed a theft report against me and the consequences (personally and professionally) of that.
Thank you for your support!!
What a douche bag.
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid