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1 year ago this weekend

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shortee126 posted 5/27/2013 20:34 PM

This weekend has been very difficult for me. One year ago this weekend my H left me and our girls. Even though we are working R it has been a very difficult weekend. I have felt like isolating and being alone all weekend. I did not do this and forced myself to interact with my family. I have been emotional, moody, and difficult to deal with. I have been doing my best to not talk about it. H has not said anything to me either. He did stop me in the middle of the room yesterday and I completely lost it in front of him and our kids. I just hate all of the triggers and memories. I feel like I should be grateful that we are working hard but I am angry with all of the hurt I still feel. H has been very patient and understanding, he is working really hard but I am still angry and hurt.

Keepcalm posted 5/27/2013 20:47 PM

(((Shortee126))) Sorry you and your children are going through this. I have no words of wisdom, but some will be along soon. Just know I understand your pain. It helps me to concentrate on my kids.

FightingBack posted 5/27/2013 23:01 PM

I have been doing my best to not talk about it. H has not said anything to me either.

shortee, why are you not talking about it?

The first "antiversary" is a tough one. On one hand we dread its coming and on the other, we need it to be acknowledged. The way you have been feeling is perfectly natural and I think it is important to talk about it.

The first year is such a horrible crazy time. When we look back, so much has happened but we don't feel all that much better about the twist our lives have taken. We have just learned to live with it a bit better.

One year after dday is a good time to take stock. To look back and see how far we have come but also to realize that we are just beginning the journey.

Of course you are still angry and hurt.
If anyone thinks that a year will make a huge difference, I would say they are wrong.

Don't hide these feelings from your WS. It sounds like you need to talk about it. He may need to as well.

[This message edited by FightingBack at 11:03 PM, May 27th (Monday)]

HereWeGo62 posted 5/28/2013 06:48 AM

(((shortee126)))

I read your profile story and my heart really hurts for you. Although it has been a year since he left it has really only been about 8m since the A ended and your WH came home. You are most likely right in the middle of the anger stage, the shock has finally worn off. I spent from month six to month 14 very angry and moody. It is a normal part of the healing. Try to stay calm in front of the kids though, just pull his butt into another room and let him know what you are angry about.

I feel like I should be grateful that we are working hard but I am angry with all of the hurt I still feel.

Actually he should be the one that is grateful. He should be thankful and grateful every day for the rest of his natural and spiritual life that you have extended him a second chance.

LA44 posted 5/28/2013 07:33 AM

Keep talking. Talk to him, talk to a great friend, talk in IC or MC. Just, talk.

((shortee126))

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