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Newest Member: Howtotrust (61551)

User Topic: I love you
♀ 35803
Member # 35803
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does anyone else get annoyed when your spouse says I love you? Some times I do not going to lie. I do not always say it back. Even though I do love my H I struggle to say it. I think about how it was so easy for him to throw it away and say that he loved OW and now it is so easy to love me again. I don't completely trust him or what he has to say yet.
It took 20 minutes for him to throw away 16 years and it will take a long time for us to re-build.

BS- 37
married 13 years together 19
DD- 5/27/12
He walked out on me and the girls 5/26/12
Recovery started 9/15/12

Hoping for Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom!!!!

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: New York
♂ 36317
Member # 36317
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't get annoyed; I appreciate it a lot when I hear it. Especially if sincere, which it always is. I did have those thoughts early on for a couple months after D-Day though.

I, however, still struggle sometimes to say it back. There are moments where this sadness I feel is too much and I can't reciprocate the sentiment. I typically will just nod in acknowledgement. She is always gracious either way and accepting. She knows I love her.

With time those moments are fewer.

Me: 30 ~ Her (FR2012): 29
Together: 11 years, 2 children
D-Day 1: April 19, 2012, D-Day 2: September 13, 2015

Surrender to the truth of life.

Posts: 470 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Traversing Dark Places With The Light of Truth
♀ 39210
Member # 39210
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do. I haven't said it to him since dday. I'm not sure how I feel. And I resent the fact that he's so in love now, but not enough to have kept him from cheating. It doesn't have the same meaning to me that it used to. Just one other sad fact of life post affair

'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'

Posts: 401 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 38391
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It doesn't annoy me, but it doesn't feel like it should either.

He said he loved me the whole time he was doing this. What kind of "love" is that?

D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1162 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
♂ 34766
Member # 34766
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes it bothers me, most of the time it doesn't. She has a cerain tone in her voice when she is being sincere and if I am with her I can see it in her eyes. There are time though that I just don't want to hear it.

To be honest, the "I Love you" followed by "we are soulmates" bugs the crap out of me.

If there is reincarnation I hope OM comes back as a low water flush truck stop toilet!

Posts: 312 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Tx
♀ 38384
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H tells me he loves me at least 3x/day now and I KNOW he means it. But in that first month following D-Day, I asked him to please not say it as much (he would say it 3x before he left in the morning!). I felt overwhelmed by it and did not know its sincerity. Plus, I could not say it back. I needed him to give me some space with it.

Today, I say it back. When its a hard time I nod my head and say, "I know you do."

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 6

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