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day 11

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broken0322 posted 5/27/2013 22:44 PM

I woke up feeling extremely angry today. I spent half the morning listening to music and cleaning up my house. I've been a couch potato/bed potato for the last 10 days. I was feeling a hatred in my heart that scared me. I didn't like that feeling. It was feelings of way to many thoughts of cruelty. It was at this point I number 1. Discovered exactly what real forgiveness is And 2. Decided to forgive him. I didn't say accept his
actions I said forgive. This whole betrayal thing is extremely weird but I'm determined to get through this. I found myself laughing and smiling with my family without actually faking it. Being cheated on does not always mean you can pack up a family and just leave. Some can and some can't. I'm moving forward and seeking counseling to find ways to build a better me a stronger. To rebuild that piece of my soul I just lost.
"Being cheated on is not the end of the world, we will survive. It just mean 1 Party was not strong enough to keep their promise. So whose the weaker link, well its damn sure not us. Have a great night.

letting_go posted 5/28/2013 06:03 AM

Well put.

I remember those earlier scary days. To make it through I worked out for a couple of hours 5 days a week. Plus, I repeatedly stabbed the underside of one of our sofa cushions while screaming at the top of my lungs. The release was cathartic and scary all at the same time. Never did it again. Never wanted to do it again. Everyone is still alive and well to this day.

A friend of mine suggested going to the gun range or archery range to release some frustration. As frustrated and hurt as we can be during those times, I would have probably made the Olympic team.

HereWeGo62 posted 5/28/2013 12:15 PM


Very gently. You are very very new to this process and you are going to have many up and down days. At 11 days in I would say you are still very much in shock as your mind and body try to process what has happened. If you can forgive your WSO at this point that is awesome for you, it will make your heart a little less heavy.

Over the next few months you will probably have many good days and a few not so good days (the roller coaster), this is normal and you will probably want to know how to get off of the ride. The Anger will come eventually, sometimes it builds slowly over time and sometimes it just rages, but believe me it will come.

Please take care of yourself. If you can get into IC I would suggest doing it ASAP.

broken0322 posted 5/28/2013 12:43 PM

Thanks to you both
It's truly a journey

[This message edited by broken0322 at 2:21 PM, May 28th (Tuesday)]

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