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Newest Member: Jasnah (61860)

User Topic: Believing Him?
♀ 39157
Member # 39157
Default  Posted: 12:12 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH swears he only had an inappropriate text messages relationship with the OW. Even if that's true, we both see her often because of our jobs and I have lots of triggers. It took me 5 months to get out of my WH all of the infirmation about what went on that I have. In December I confronted her and at that time they both told me that they had a slip in judgment and she only sent him the one bathing suit clad picture that I found. Skip forward 4 months or so and I found old text messages (pre December) that were inappropriate and that she had sent more than just the one picture. I couldn't find anything else. I'm not convinced there's not anything else. My WH is being nicer and sweeter to me than he ever has. I just have this uneasy feeling that there's more I don't know about. He had a PA about 12 years ago. He never fully admitted that. It actually took me 10 years to get him to acknowledge that it was obvious from the evidence that something did happen. We went to MC at the time but it is clear that he was only going thru the motions. And he completely cut ties with the OW. We are in MC now and I think he is really trying. I just don't know what to do about this gut feeling of mine. I told him that it was better to tell me everything now and we could work thru it. If I found out later that he is lying, that I would be done with him. He still swears that I know everything.

Posts: 43 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 27196
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry you are having to live with this uncertainty. It is so so painful. I just wish they could understand that the emotional toll that this takes on us is probably the worst part. ((((amberdawn))))

In most cases we need to trust our guts. I think it is highly unlikely that it was 'just' an EA and texting. And I think one of the big tip offs to that is that it took you so long to admit to it. If it were 'only' text messaging and pics, then why would he not just come clean about it immediately? And, if he had a PA 12 yrs ago, the odds are that this was a PA also.

There are some things you could do to find more info:

Hang in there.


Edited b/c I just realized what forum I was in.

Amber dawn I will message you.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 9:52 AM, May 28th (Tuesday)]

Me, BS, 58
Him, WS 61
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1:
Episode 2:

Posts: 7192 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Topic Posts: 2

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