You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
It sounds like you're afraid the X might be humiliated; that might not be a bad thing
Do you think he would behave badly and embarrass your kids? If not, I say he takes them and sucks it up.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011