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Newest Member: SnowyOwl

Divorce/Separation :
he has to take my good name, too?

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 trebleclef (original poster member #33488) posted at 12:01 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Hi again, been away for a while getting settled into my new digs - Hallelujah!

First mediation meeting today. It was ok, but as he talked, I realized YET AGAIN why we were here. His sense of entitlement has only grown stronger in the almost two years since D-day.

Then I got a message from my daughter who ran into someone who knows my STBX's business partner. Apparently the business partner told him that "I" was the one who had cheated on STBX!

Gee - wonder where he came up with THAT misinformation??Trying so hard not to be livid. My reputation is important to me, and there is no way to fix this

True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

posts: 1812   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2011   ·   location: Alberta
id 6352495
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Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 12:28 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

TC,

I get it, my XH did the same damn thing. Nobody believed it; hopefully those who know you will know that your XH is lying as well.

Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long

Now:-----> Everything is as it should be

posts: 940   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2011   ·   location: The Hostile City
id 6352525
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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 12:37 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

This quote has helped me:

Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you, no one would believe it.

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6352549
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 12:59 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Dmari has the only option for you in her post. It's one I'm having to strive for since my STBX is also trashtalking me & telling lies (even to our children, the bastard!). All I can do is live my life honestly & authentically, and whenever anyone asks me questions I'm absolutely open & direct with my answers. Only one person who knows me will even still speak to STBX.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6352578
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 2:34 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

It's taken time, but the lies my X has told regarding me are coming back to roost. Hold your head high, just because he said it happened, doesn't mean it did.

If he said the sky was purple would you believe him?

Hugs,

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6352684
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 12:13 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you, no one would believe it.

THIS. A thousand times this.

The sad clown recently posted something totally inappropriate on FB. I wouldn't let anyone tell me what it said but I do know that one of HIS friends called him out on it. Several others contacted me to tell me how sad they were that he was behaving this way. I reminded them that everyone in his life is someone who either works for him or is a friend of someone who works for him - and most are at least a decade, 1.5 decades younger. He looks like the pathetic crazy behaving this way and the beauty of it is I didn't have to do a single thing - he drove his own karma bus over himself. Dumbarse.

I've had many of his friends reach out to offer me support - before and after his outbursts. We don't discuss him or what is going on between us. They are contacting me to see how I am, to ask if there is anything they can do and to catch up with me.

They can demonise us all they want. Those who know us will see through it. Those who don't know us don't matter and they can kiss my arse quite frankly.

The high road doesn't mean keeping his secrets - it means skipping by and whistling as the train wreck happens around them.

The best revenge is living well. When you're living well you won't even care for vengeance or justice anymore.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6353030
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