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silverhopes (original poster member #32753) posted at 2:41 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
Just curious. I know infidelity is the focus of our site and so many of us have very common principles surrounding infidelity - namely, that we oppose it.
Outside of "no infidelity", what are some other principles you value in your relationship? What are things you're learning that are new, what things are you especially proud of, and what do you value? Or, if you're not in a relationship, what things would you want for your next one, for a healthy one?
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:08 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
Financial stability. Moderation. Responsibility. The ability to communicate well. Respect. Equality.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
FightingBack ( member #34770) posted at 3:29 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
Honesty, emotional openness and respect.
Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!
joeboo ( member #31089) posted at 5:28 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
I think there would be incredible value in mutual trust. It almost seems superficial. Just the thought of it seems so emotionally peaceful.
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 7:18 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
Respect, warmth, and equality. God damn it, I need those things!
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 12:49 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
Respect, loyalty, honesty, intimacy.
absolut ( member #37933) posted at 3:40 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013
I have been reading on a website called marriagebuilders
It has a lot of good stuff.
scangel3 ( member #36164) posted at 1:14 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
The things I am not getting from my WH
which are:
honesty, respect, good communication, and patience and
understanding.
ETA: Basically a heart, and to show the person they are with that they mean something to them, and they are a priority in their life, not just second best
[This message edited by scangel3 at 7:15 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)]
BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 10, DS 7, DS 6.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it
Brokenpetal ( new member #39230) posted at 1:17 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Respect, consideration (as in treat your spouse better than anyone else you know) and never , ever, belittle them. Not even in jest.
* my WH used to call me "dummy" early on (yes, red flag) he always said I was way too book smart and had no common sense. I guess that factored Into trusting him.... Well, honey, my common sense/street smarts has come a long way....
Conflicted1 ( member #39019) posted at 1:25 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Companionship, loving words and actions, gentle honesty (as opposed to brutal), open and honest communications, laughs and good sex of course. 
Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.
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