After opening the door to some communication with my ex (WS), I find myself in a strange position. I hoped and prayed for months for this opportunity. That she would want to be in contact. I will not say we got to the point of R as we were not "together" again by any means, but we were communicating regularly, and I thought working toward being in a healthy place. But because she is not yet in a healthy place, I have realized that we could not get to one. So now that I got what I thought I want, I believe that the 180 is in order again...but I can tell she is very confused by my efforts. I think her view is, here I am -- isn't that what you wanted?
By the same token, I am a fairly live and let live kind of person. I am not about ultimatums. if she does not find a personal motivation to grow and work on her issues, I am not about to force her because it won't do any good. So my response is 180 -- to back away.
As I said, she is very confused (or is acting confused). I don't feel it's appropriate to just pile it on and tell her I'm backing off because I find her to be a mess after I've worked so hard to heal. She is a bigger mess than when we ended things, and I'm even more sensitive to it because I really have done a lot of healing work.
Suggestions about 180 with love and giving her some clarity? Am I making any sense?
[This message edited by LoveRising at 10:28 PM, May 28th (Tuesday)]