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Divorce/Separation :
criminal defense attorney update

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 dmari (original poster member #37215) posted at 4:30 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

I just wanted to thank those who responded to my other post regarding getting a criminal defense attorney. And I'm sharing what happened just in case it can help someone else in a similar situation.

I did talk to, meet with, and retained a criminal defense attorney and THANK GOD I did. I didn't realize the seriousness of the situation. After all it's just a stupid fire extinguisher and keys!

Due to what the "stolen" property is worth, the case is a felony class c. I could have walked in tomorrow; have my rights read; give my statement; and I could have been processed!! WTF?!?!

So now my attorney will write a letter on behalf of me and this letter will go with the detectives report to the prosecutor. Then it is up to the prosecutor to decide what to do.

It has been a mentally exhausting day. I wish there was a Starbucks in my house. Thank you for your support and advice!! I seriously would not be where I'm at emotionally had it not been for all of you!! Love, dmari

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6352815
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hurtbs ( member #10866) posted at 4:41 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

I'm so sorry. Hang in there.

The crazy that these people create is horrific...

Me - 40 something. WXH DDay 2006, Divorced 2012
WBF DDay #1 9/2022 #2 11/2022
Single

posts: 15762   ·   registered: Jun. 1st, 2006   ·   location: So Cal
id 6352832
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 4:45 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Dadgum! I'm glad you got a defense A, too! That's scary! So now that you know what your STBX is aiming for, you'll be even more vigilent, right?

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 11:34 PM, May 28th (Tuesday)]

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6352838
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 4:51 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Wow - so glad you followed through dmari!! Wear your bitch boots! Oh - and F.T.G.!!

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6352849
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 4:55 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Your WH is just an immature, mean dick to put you through all of this....

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6352858
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 4:59 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Not immature and mean; he's criminally abusing is authority.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6352862
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courageous ( member #34477) posted at 8:30 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

I'm glad to hear you will be protected with your defense attorney. I'm so sorry you have to do that. Best wishes in court! Crush him! Don't let him get away with abusing his powers like that.

Me: BW (in my 40's) Him: ExWH EA/PA with MOW coworker(also married). He ended up marrying his mistress.

posts: 880   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 6352961
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 4:17 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

he's criminally abusing is authority

Yea, ^^that too.

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6353324
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itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 4:26 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

I am so glad you got a defense attorney!

FTG. In the asshole with a rusty chainsaw.

posts: 3446   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2011   ·   location: NWPA
id 6353337
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 11:25 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

I'm really glad that you got an attorney. Fuck that guy for abusing his power and being a doosh.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6353945
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 dmari (original poster member #37215) posted at 7:30 AM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013

I love you guys

This incident has reminded me to always be vigilant. I'm in the process of accepting that this is my "new normal" ~ not living in fear but being vigilant (I like that word).

I realize that sometimes I "minimize" the bullshit he pulls. I used to blame it on mental illness because it's easier to accept than acknowledging he just truly is a selfish, delusional, cowardly, stupid, entitled POS!!

Thank you for handing me my bitch boots!!

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6354478
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 9:59 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013

vigilant is a good word.

I hope that like most bullies, when you show up prepared to fight back, aggressively defend yourself, and if appropriate counter attack! he'll find someone easier/more fun to target.

Remember: your emotional response is fuel. This was the most valuable thing I learned to do: NO RESPONSE. I practiced the vaguely distracted, disinterested, bored response.

Anything like fear, relief, worry, anger, aggravation, frustration, sadness, ANYTHING like this brings a new wave of attack.

(((hugs)))

AND THANK YOU for the update!!!

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6355377
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