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Newest Member: Remember (46025)

User Topic: X emailed me, and my intial response...
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will not sent this response, but this was my first response.


Dreamboat,

Hope you are well. With no job to be found and the inability to live with (Bitch SIL) or my parents, I have of course ended up in London. It turns out that this was a good thing because 7 days after DD’s 16 birthday, I had my second heart attack...they added 3 more stents to my right side. The doctor said that the left side also has issues but wants to see the results of the medication I am on along with a Thallium scan before he takes any further action.

I am not sure when I will be able to visit...job situation is just as bad or worse here. My parents along with cousins would like to spend some time with DD but they have a wedding to go to in Toronto, Canada in the middle of June...they will be free after the 25th of June (They will pick-up DD or meet you half way...they, nor I, want DD to drive on her own to Hometown). Let me know what you and her decide.

If DD is interested in visiting London, we will need to get her passport ready...let me know if I need to do anything for this. It would be lovely to spend a month or more with her and there are direct flights from Hartsfield to Heathrow.

Let me know what you decide,

Deadbeat

SHOCKER!! I am so dumb that I never figured out that you moved to the UK in 2010. Not. It took me about 1 month it figure it out. BTW, DD has known for a year. Here is a clue – keeping obvious secrets from your child is not a good way to build a good relationship with her.

I will ask DD if she wants to visit Hometown and I will respect her wishes. But I must tell you that her last visit did not go well because your sister repeatedly lied to DD telling she was bringing cousins home but then did not. DD spent a week, alone, with your parent waiting to see her cousins but then never did because of the actions of your sister. In addition, I really do not want to have to rescue her from Hometown YET AGAIN. The only reason I did not last time is that DD did not tell me the situation. The entire time I thought that not only you were there (you left earlier) but that cousins were there. DD knew I had to work so she never told me what was up. And then there was the time that you called me and told me that “this is not a good time for me to be a father” and “DD’s visit was inconvenient” to your family. Oh yeah, and the time that your sister threatened me with a harassment suit if I have called her again AND she had my child! Oh yes, the sweet memories. So yeah, if it is up to me DD will never visit Hometown again. But I will respect her wishes if she wants to go back to Crazy Town that you call “family”.

Regardless, DD has track and softball practice 5 days a week. In addition she had several books she must read for her AP classes and she also must study for her SAT and ACT. Since you have not paid any child support in over 4 years, the only way she can go to college is to get a full ride academic scholarship. However, she does not know you are a deadbeat and you are the reason I worry about money so much. You are welcome.

DD will not be visiting you and your whore and her spawn in London. I thought you knew DD hated your whore. Well, for future reference you should note that DD hates your whore and you need to keep that bitch away from her. I am completely serious about that.

I am sorry for your health. But what do you expect when you sit around and smoke cigarettes all day? I mean, didn’t your first heart attack kinda give you a fucking clue? Anyway, if you do die, make sure someone informs us. That way at least DD will get survivor’s social security. Oh wait, is that insensitive? Oops sorry. Yeah. Live long and prosper asshole.

[This message edited by Dreamboat at 11:25 PM, May 28th (Tuesday)]


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love a good vent

So sorry for what that asshat has put you and your DD through. FFFFTTTTTGGGGGG!!!!!


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love your response!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10134 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That response is almost too good NOT to send....but, alas, don't. *sigh*

“this is not a good time for me to be a father”

That's just ice-cold and wrong, wrong, wrong.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
FirstLoveGone
♀ 25957
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously?! I would just fucking send the response you typed out.

He is so fucking clueless. Who gives a shit what he thinks if you send it?

This dickhead needs some fire rained upon him. I think your email is perfect.

You never see him, you rarely communicate, you don't coparent with him, he lives across the world, and he doesn't pay you child support. . . so what have you got to lose in emailing your response?

Unless you think emailing him would open up some floodgates or be dentrimental to DD, I would hit that send button.


Posts: 1278 | Registered: Oct 2009
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is so tempting to send it. I have been trying to formulate a civil response to him in the past hour. I failed. I am just so fucking bitter.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I personally love your vent as well, but my advice would be to take the emotion out of it and stick to the facts..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Second attempt. A little more civil, but not much. Try try again tomorrow...

I am very sorry for your health. You must know that as much as I hate you I do not wish death upon you.

DD and I both know that you are living in the UK and have been for a long time. It was quite obvious. I have to tell you keeping the “secret” and pretending you did not move really hurt your relationship with DD. That was stupid.

I will ask DD if she wants to visit with your family. She is busy this summer with both sports and studies. She is taking 2 AP classes next year that require summer reading plus she is studying for the SAT and ACT. But if she wants to take a break and visit your family I will make it happen. Please do not push her on this issue because she is a peace keeper and will acquiesce just to remove pressure from herself.

She will not be visiting you while you live with that woman. You should really know better than to ask that of her. Right now you are lucky she even acknowledges you.

This year she made all A’s – a 4.0. She also scored a Gold on the National Latin Exam, which means she scored in the top 10%. And she was inducted into the National Latin Honor Society. She is very worried about college because she wants to go to Auburn but out of state tuition is very expensive now. Her backup plan is UGA but she does not want to go there for many reasons. There is no backup plan beyond that because she is not interested in engineering (so GaTech is out) and the other in state schools really suck. So she needs a 1470 on the SAT (Math and Vocab) to get a scholarship from Auburn, otherwise she has to go to UGA. BTW, you owe ~$80K in child support. If you had paid then I would not worry about the cost of tuition at Auburn. She does not know you are such a deadbeat. You are welcome.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
BrighterFuture
♀ 38914
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Perfect!


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
BrighterFuture
♀ 38914
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by VeryHurtbroken at 12:07 AM, May 29th (Wednesday)]


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
BrighterFuture
♀ 38914
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by VeryHurtbroken at 12:09 AM, May 29th (Wednesday)]


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
BrighterFuture
♀ 38914
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn cellphone.

[This message edited by VeryHurtbroken at 12:10 AM, May 29th (Wednesday)]


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 12:28 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn cellphone.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ 34602
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need to hang out in D/S more often (since that is where I'm headed). I need everyone's wittiness to rub off on me!

ETA: It sounds like your DD is very intelligent and mature! And that she loves you very much.

[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 12:47 AM, May 29th (Wednesday)]


Me (BW): 32
WH: 34 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1736 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Grace and Flowers
♀ 34431
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 1:57 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still like the first one better.

Just sayin'.


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1217 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
SweetheartVixen
♀ 4956
Member # 4956
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

KKK Clicking the *Like* button!


BS/60s WS/60s Divorcing and not soon enough~!
Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice...

DD 6-14


Posts: 3106 | Registered: Jul 2004 | From: somewhere over the rainbow
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Man, I'm conflicted..

For your second letter, I would say take out "You are stupid" and really anything having to do with the OW.. I would let your DD handle her feelings about that directly with your stupid ex. He really doesn't care what you have to say about it, and it could seem like you are speaking for your daughter, so I would let her speak to him directly about it..

But $80K due to child support????? Hmm, I back to liking your first email better

t/j And hi China Doll! I've been waiting to see you down here! You will find lots of people down here who know just what you are going through


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
badd
♀ 23468
Member # 23468
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will ask DD if she wants to visit with you or your family. She is busy this summer with both sports and studies. She is taking 2 AP classes next year that require summer reading plus she is studying for the SAT and ACT. But if she wants to take a break and visit you or your family I will cooperate as I am able to help make it happen.

This year she made all A’s – a 4.0. She also scored a Gold on the National Latin Exam, which means she scored in the top 10%. And she was inducted into the National Latin Honor Society. She is very worried about college because she wants to go to Auburn but out of state tuition is very expensive now. S0 she needs a 1470 on the SAT (Math and Vocab) to get a scholarship from Auburn, otherwise she has to go to UGA. BTW, you owe ~$80K in child support. If you had paid then I would not worry about the cost of tuition at Auburn. She does not know you are such a deadbeat. For that, You're welcome.

These are your own words, and they are perfect. I added two or three words for inclusiveness re his and their visits, ok since you know she won't go to London. Also so you do NOT agree to "make it happen" but will cooperate to help. You do NOT want to get stuck accused of not paying airfare or providing a ride or whatever. Ignore the poor me health issues, that will cut him much deeper than anything you can say. You tell him with brutal lack of emotion it is up to her, but you will cooperate for her if needed, and you give her a hugely well supported out with all the activity information. As far as the well earned dig for child support and the even better earned your welcome for not letting her know? I would ABSOLUTELY leave it in, he is an asshole! good luck with it. What an ass (bears repeating), oh, and FTG!

[This message edited by badd at 8:55 AM, May 29th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 133 | Registered: Apr 2009
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with badd. Kids/finances only. I would take out from "She does not know you're a deadbeat..." onwards too though.

Digs are ego kibbles for him. Let the fucker be ego kibble starved I say. He knows he's a douche - knowing you care either way would make him feel important. He is not.

FTG.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5733 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
badd
♀ 23468
Member # 23468
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dammit, SBB is right, but it pisses me off too, as someone who has received not one penny of child support, I completely hear you, and I think he should know! of course we all know they DO know, and we all know they won't feel worse if we tell them, but it is HAAAAARD not to!

Posts: 133 | Registered: Apr 2009
Topic Posts: 36
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