I know it's just because I'm on the fence; he doesn't know what he wants besides space and to be able to figure shit out (even though he's drunk 99% of the time) and I don't know what I want either. I don't think I could ever trust him again. I'm just scared; stupid!
Okay, enough venting. I shouldn't worry about my friend but after you've been screwed over so many times it's hard not to get jealous and/or suspicious!
At this point in time, your WH does not want to R. So 180 - put the focus on you! NC means mental NC as well. Youre only putting roadblocks in the your path to healing. Doesn't your life have enough drama? Then why are you creating more?
I suggest you have a plan...for these moments when you want to put the focus on him. Walk, call a friend, journal, turn up the msic full blast and dance your ass off. But stop the games Still, it's only hurting you.
Take a good look at this guy you want to R with.
He's drunk 99% of the time.
He is fishing for EAs/PAs.
He does not want R.
He is not remorseful.
How much this hurts is up to you. Please don't feed the drama lama. He is blowing his life apart - stand too close and your own will be blown up too.
180/NC includes NO info/goss/internet stalking/stings etc. Just stop.
I know what I need to do so now it's time to start saving some money so I can afford to get the divorce process going. At least I can file the initial papers for $400 without an attorney. At least get temporary orders going. I'll just have to go from there then. Tough decision but it's the only way I can go. I don't wanna hurt anymore. I haven't even checked the cell phone bill today and, really, I don't have any desire to either. HUGE step for me!
Thanks for the 2x4s; I needed them! Just in a bad place last night.
My suggestions? STOP texting him. STOP looking at the phone bill. Get all your ducks in a row and give yourself a break..
I was hurt to all hell that my man was giving attention to other woman, but there are at least 2 of them right now, and it sounds like yours has more than 2 as well, so just sit back and relax and be glad HE'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE!!!
NO CONTACT. NO CONTACT. NO CONTACT. NO SIDEWAYS, BACKWARDS, THROUGH FRIENDS, OR SNEAKY PHONE BILL CONTACT. Put that asshat out of your mind and FOCUS ON YOU!!!
Big huge hugs to you. I know it's tough, but you are getting there
To me, that made them an accomplice, and those people got shut out of my life very quickly. Staying out of other people's business my ass.. What a joke..
But think how much more perceptive and smart you are getting? I bet you are going to see red flags a lot faster now than you ever did before, so drop those losers and only keep in your life people who really have your back.. You will be able to trust your instincts a lot better going forward.. You might not always be right, but you will be a lot better at it..
It hurts to lose friends, but if they can't be trusted, they need to go.. I promise you will find better friends in the future..
I'm gonna keep trying! It's hard to not hear about him since we share friends and he only lives 7 miles away. I'm doing my best to not be around the area when he is but that gets spendy to try and get away. Oh well, I'll keep giving it the good ol' college try! hahaha
Hopefully now I can go as much NC as possible. I just want to be done. Gonna save as much as I can to get the divorce going and start carrying on with my life.
I haven't looked at the phone bill yet today or at all yesterday so that's a step in the right direction. I'm putting myself out of the misery.
It's going to be all about ME now! ME and my daughters and granddaughter. That's it! He doesn't get to tug at my heart strings anymore; I'm cutting those so he has no control over my heart! It's time to move on to bigger and better things, albeit alone. It is now "I as I and not as We"!!!!
Feeling very angry today..... maybe that's a good sign. I'm not feeling the breaking of my heart today and I've opened my eyes to see that there's no hope for a future with WH. There are just so many stages of emotions to go through after infidelity that it's mind blowing! Hopefully I have made it through the agonizing part; the part where you feel you can't go on, despair, hurt and wondering what to do next. I have to move on; it's time!
Thanks for listening, the 2x4s and the support! Let's hope we all have a great Thursday!