What he did is considered cheating, right?
IMO, yes. I wonder how he would feel if men were sending you sexual pics. Would he consider that cheating? Or if you were sending pics of yourself to other men.
He has not voiced his frustration.
Feelings and attitudes don't have to be voiced to be heard.
Like I said in my other response, he needs to make a safe environment for you to feel comfortable talking things through with him.
I'm glad you're in MC. Is he owning his shit? Is he questioning whether or not it was cheating if no PA? Are you talking about your feeling of disconnect with him because of your unresolved feelings?
It takes time, but please don't rugsweep. That never works. Sometimes we pretend things are okay because we so badly want them to be.
he's saying all the right things.
Saying and doing are quite different.
To answer your topic title question....no, you are not being too hard on him.