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Newest Member: Thranduilion (61515)

User Topic: I'm a wreck
♀ 28391
Member # 28391
Sad  Posted: 9:01 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH and I are having a trial separation... been S for 4 weeks now.. We had a family vacation planned to go to the OBX in two weeks.. He still plans to go with his entire side of his family and is taking our boys.. I have never been without them for an entire week before.. We each see the boys 50/50 now...I'm already starting to feel sick on my stomach.. I know that i have to get use to this considering the separation is what I asked for not him and if we get divorced i'll have to share vacation time with him but i just don't know if i can do this... I never dreamed it would be this hard!!! please please help! sitting here at work sobbing!

Posts: 47 | Registered: Apr 2010
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing about this is easy, but in time you will get used to the idea.

I'm sorry you're in such pain today. Do some deep breathing right now -- in --- out --- in ---- out --- repeat 10 times.

Tell your heart to calm down and stop trying to beat its way out of your chest.

Then plan something nice to do just for you during that time alone.

Big hugs. You can do this.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 20700 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
♀ 39204
Member # 39204
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hurmotherof2 - I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

I remember when I had to almost 3 years now. At the beginning it was really tough. Just 6 weeks after my ex moved out he took all 3 of my kids to Disneyworld for a weeks vacation. It hurt so much for me - that had been our annual vacation for the last 4 years. It must have been awful for my kiddos having their vacation without their Mum there.

My ex just did not get it - it was all about him recreating this "fun new family". Such idiots

Try and take this time as an opportunity to have some "me" time. Reach out to friends - they will probably love to help you get through this.

My regret is that at the beginning I just sat at home crying all week long. I had a huge pity party for one all that week. I wish I had reached out.

Me. - moving on and upward !!!

Posts: 102 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Great Britain
♀ 33440
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hurt))) Breathe. I agree that you should do something special for yourself during the time the kids are away. It will give you something to look forward to. It doesn't get any easier as time goes on, but it gets better, if that makes any sort of sense.

Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
♀ 25341
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Oh I feel for you, you are right - NOTHING about this is easy.

Try taking it one moment at a time. Breathe. Make it through this moment. Then the next. Make plans for what you will do with your boys when they are with you. Doesn't have to be anything expensive or elaborate. Make cookies together and have a picnic/campout in the living room or back yard if you have one?

You are going to make it. But you have to be easy on yourself and take it slow.


Me (BS), Him (WH): mid-50's
3 DS: 23, 23, 19
M: 28 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 33
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen

Posts: 6302 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
♀ 28391
Member # 28391
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, May 29th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you everyone for all your support... this has been the hardest day yet for me since we separated.. I keep hearing that things will get better.. when does that happen? I feel like i'm going to have an anxiety attack at the thought of my boys leaving me for a week with WH!

Posts: 47 | Registered: Apr 2010
Topic Posts: 6

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