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I'm a wreck

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hurtmotherof2 posted 5/29/2013 09:01 AM

WH and I are having a trial separation... been S for 4 weeks now.. We had a family vacation planned to go to the OBX in two weeks.. He still plans to go with his entire side of his family and is taking our boys.. I have never been without them for an entire week before.. We each see the boys 50/50 now...I'm already starting to feel sick on my stomach.. I know that i have to get use to this considering the separation is what I asked for not him and if we get divorced i'll have to share vacation time with him but i just don't know if i can do this... I never dreamed it would be this hard!!! please please help! sitting here at work sobbing!

FaithFool posted 5/29/2013 09:06 AM

Nothing about this is easy, but in time you will get used to the idea.

I'm sorry you're in such pain today. Do some deep breathing right now -- in --- out --- in ---- out --- repeat 10 times.

Tell your heart to calm down and stop trying to beat its way out of your chest.

Then plan something nice to do just for you during that time alone.

Big hugs. You can do this.

scotslass posted 5/29/2013 09:12 AM

hurmotherof2 - I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

I remember when I had to almost 3 years now. At the beginning it was really tough. Just 6 weeks after my ex moved out he took all 3 of my kids to Disneyworld for a weeks vacation. It hurt so much for me - that had been our annual vacation for the last 4 years. It must have been awful for my kiddos having their vacation without their Mum there.

My ex just did not get it - it was all about him recreating this "fun new family". Such idiots

Try and take this time as an opportunity to have some "me" time. Reach out to friends - they will probably love to help you get through this.

My regret is that at the beginning I just sat at home crying all week long. I had a huge pity party for one all that week. I wish I had reached out.

lostmommy posted 5/29/2013 10:45 AM

(((hurt))) Breathe. I agree that you should do something special for yourself during the time the kids are away. It will give you something to look forward to. It doesn't get any easier as time goes on, but it gets better, if that makes any sort of sense.

DeadMumWalking posted 5/29/2013 11:28 AM

((((hurtmotherof2))))

Oh I feel for you, you are right - NOTHING about this is easy.

Try taking it one moment at a time. Breathe. Make it through this moment. Then the next. Make plans for what you will do with your boys when they are with you. Doesn't have to be anything expensive or elaborate. Make cookies together and have a picnic/campout in the living room or back yard if you have one?

You are going to make it. But you have to be easy on yourself and take it slow.

((((hurtmotherof2))))

hurtmotherof2 posted 5/29/2013 15:13 PM

Thank you everyone for all your support... this has been the hardest day yet for me since we separated.. I keep hearing that things will get better.. when does that happen? I feel like i'm going to have an anxiety attack at the thought of my boys leaving me for a week with WH!

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