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Cursed with a weakness for hot guys.... gotta break that!

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She11ybeanz posted 5/29/2013 11:51 AM

Okay....so I gotta be honest....when I lurk in the dating sites and just look (no contacting)....I always get drawn to the hot guys.....and I can almost ALWAYS pick out the douchebags too...and can usually tell just by the pictures they have or the way they talk about themselves that they are douchebags....and then that's usually enough to have me running for the hills (cause that's my M.O. when it comes to dating... finding emotionally unavailable cocky jackasses!!!

I think the next sweet ugly guy that asks me out, I will just go for it!

damncutekitty posted 5/29/2013 16:21 PM

There are just as many douchey guys who are unattractive. For years I purposely took physical attraction OFF my list of requirements in guys I dated.

I did not meet any sweet homely dudes. I mostly just got treated like crap and then questioned by my friends for lowering my standards.

Nature_Girl posted 5/29/2013 16:38 PM

I lowered my looks standards for STBX. He is so far away from the level of attractiveness I'd always dated. I thought that my problem had been I was being too shallow. So along comes this not-attractive guy who was sweeping me off my feet, I thought I'd see what happened. Now look at where I am...

notmeanymore posted 5/29/2013 18:47 PM

I have to admit I'm biased AGAINST attractive guys. It's awful of me to assume they're jerks just because they're good looking, but I've come to realize I typically avoid them.

This is not to say that I couldn't change my mind if/when I got to know them. It's just my knee jerk reaction to meeting one.

Now I did have a horrible date-rape experience with the best looking guy I'd ever dated. So maybe there is something more behind it.

tryingagain74 posted 5/29/2013 19:22 PM

Several people have told me that they wondered why I was ever with STBX-- not only (do they say) am I far more attractive physically than he is, but they also couldn't understand the attraction to his personality!

Yeah... not going to sell myself short next time. I was an insecure 19-year-old kid who never thought that guys liked her, so when STBX and I met, I think I was vulnerable because I wanted someone "to like me" and was totally open to romanticizing everything about him.

Alone is far better. However, being with a hot guy would not be too awful either, though, after this go-round (kidding, kidding).

Catwoman posted 5/29/2013 19:28 PM

For me, attraction begins with an intellectual connection. My wonderful GDM had me with his stories and experiences. Even now, I love to talk to him about anything.

He is slight and bald. But he is beautiful in his heart and spirit--where it counts.

Cat

thyme2go posted 5/29/2013 19:40 PM

Cursed with a weakness for hot guys....

IMHO there are no hot guys in existence... except maybe Elvis.

-t2g

Pass posted 5/29/2013 19:47 PM

I am totally in support of more women giving up on hot guys. Give the rest of us a chance!

HappilyUnMarried posted 5/29/2013 20:48 PM

I had a fondness for hot guys too. My XWH was extremely attractive. I felt beneath him.

My SO isn't someone you would say "Oh wow" when you see him in the streets. He isn't hot. His personality, though, overcame his lack of hotness. And I am more attracted to him than anyone I have ever met. Hot or not. Hotness only keeps your interest for so long. A compatible personality lasts much longer and even gets better with time!

[This message edited by HappilyUnMarried at 8:49 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)]

She11ybeanz posted 5/29/2013 21:37 PM

Hmmmm....well MAYBE I won't give up COMPLETELY on ALL hot guys... but just expand my horizons and be more open to other guys as well! If I meet a guy that is not my usual physical type...but he is everything else that I am looking for in a man....sweet...kind....intelligent...and responsible... then I will definitely give him a chance! In the past I would have narrowed my standards to the near impossible...and almost always end up with gorgeous...shallow....insensitive....and lacking in most of my deeper qualities...

But....also....don't get me wrong... if I meet an Ian Somerhalder look-a-like(Damon from the "Vampire Diaries") who is sweet...kind...responsible...intelligent...and...OH HELL... I definitely wouldn't spat in his face!

Williesmom posted 5/29/2013 21:44 PM

T/j

T2g- you have to qualify the hotness of Elvis. He is only hot before and during the '72 comeback special.

After that, he's just fat and sweaty.

thyme2go posted 5/29/2013 21:50 PM

The '68 Comeback Special. Watch it on Youtube. I saw that leather outfit at Graceland. That.

-t2g

Williesmom posted 5/29/2013 21:52 PM

So did I! Twice!

ProbableIceCream posted 5/29/2013 23:50 PM

What's with this black and white dichotomy between "hot" and "ugly" guys?

NaiveAgain posted 5/30/2013 02:54 AM

I've redefined my perception of "hot."

To me, a guy is "hot" if he makes me a priority, treats me with respect, loves me and cares for me, and can talk openly to me about anything without getting defensive or combative. My new guy is the hottest guy I've ever been with (he isn't what most would consider hot) and he is definitely the most amazing lover I've ever been with (looks have nothing to do with bedroom performance).

I look at other so-called hot guys at this point and they do absolutely NOTHING for me, of course no other guys do anything for me because I have what I was looking for right now......

[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 8:54 AM, May 30th (Thursday)]

SBB posted 5/30/2013 06:46 AM

So along comes this not-attractive guy who was sweeping me off my feet, I thought I'd see what happened. Now look at where I am...

^^Ditto. The next fucker to break my heart is going to be B.E.A.-utiful. It sucks arse having your heart broken by a guy with a face like a smashed crab. I'm going pretty next time.

Exit Wounds posted 5/30/2013 08:10 AM

When I was on a dating site (looong ago) this was my headline...


"I am looking for IQ not GQ"

SO the bastard broke my heart...
Yeah, well, neeext!

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 10:19 AM, May 30th (Thursday)]

TrustNoOne posted 5/30/2013 09:16 AM

The next fucker to break my heart is going to be B.E.A.-utiful. It sucks arse having your heart broken by a guy with a face like a smashed crab.


//gasping//

Not often do I laugh that hard, in my office, and draw the attention of others.

She11ybeanz posted 5/30/2013 09:31 AM

The next fucker to break my heart is going to be B.E.A.-utiful. It sucks arse having your heart broken by a guy with a face like a smashed crab.

Okay...at least I can say the last two fuckers were pretty.... maybe pretty has nothing to do with fuck-tardedness.......

I think that's the most I've used the F word since my false R! Oh well.... hehehehehe ::putting filter back into place::

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 9:32 AM, May 30th (Thursday)]

jennie160 posted 5/30/2013 10:16 AM

Several people have told me that they wondered why I was ever with STBX-- not only (do they say) am I far more attractive physically than he is, but they also couldn't understand the attraction to his personality!

Yeah... not going to sell myself short next time. I was an insecure 19-year-old kid who never thought that guys liked her, so when STBX and I met, I think I was vulnerable because I wanted someone "to like me" and was totally open to romanticizing everything about him.

This was my XH and I as well. I can't tell you how many times people asked me why I was with him.

When I started dating after my D I didn't pay too much attention to looks, what really mattered to me was confidence. Did they feel good about themselves? Did they think they looked good but not in a narcissist way? XH didn't feel good about himself and would abuse me to knock me down to his level.

Current SO is probably the most attractive person I have dated, both physically and personality wise. He is a pretty big guy (think linebacker) and would have no trouble picking up a girl in the bar. But I don't feel lucky that he picked me, more lucky that I found him. Like a needle in a stack of narcissistic douchebags.

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