SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

welcome14 posted 5/29/2013 20:58 PM

Ex husband cheated. Ex fiance cheated. Ex recent boyfriend cheated. Ugggggghhhh. On a garden tour this year, promised my dying friend I would do this for her, keep the club together ( am acting president) and feature her new wonderful yard and be on the tour myself. Soooooo, my back hurts, can't bend over. My right arm has a torn bicep and carpal tunnel acting up and add on the brachial neuropathy, and my right arm is useless. Can't support it's own weight. But..... the pool is crystal blue and awesome, the pond is cleaned out (lifting the large rocks that had fallen in damaged my arm the most), the koi look awesome, and I have planted dozens of annuals for color, got the vegetable garden in. Been weed-eating and mowing and blowing off the debris, power washing decks and siding above the brick...yeah, I am broken. But the yard looks awesome and I will rock the tour! By myself! Ok, with a little help from my daughter, her boy friend and my bestie's hubby....but dang, as bad as I hurt, I am all feeling like Nike, Goddess of war! To all of us old chicks left with a large house and yard to maintain, we can do it! And be awesome! I was paralyzed with fear when I realized I had to do this alone. But it is so happening! Go old chicks!

Must Survive posted 5/29/2013 22:05 PM

Like button here!

heartbroken_kk posted 5/29/2013 22:24 PM

I have some pretty rockin biceps too. Gardens are great for the soul and bad for the back.

Don't forget to rest, and actually SIT in the garden.

Kajem posted 5/29/2013 22:49 PM

Working on mine... it's getting there. The bottle of tylenol is getting lower and lower.

homewrecked2011 posted 5/29/2013 22:53 PM

I am starting to love my house by fixing it up a little at a time.

Hope24 posted 5/30/2013 04:21 AM

I bet it looks beautiful. You should post pics.

Old chicks do rock.

CallMeRed1 posted 5/30/2013 06:47 AM

Such a positive thread! I'm so glad your garden looks good.

gahurts posted 5/30/2013 08:28 AM

There is always ibuprofen to get rid of the aches and pains.

Post some pictures, please!

welcome14 posted 5/30/2013 10:43 AM

Thanks all, glad I'm not alone. Just doing the stuff and not quaking in fear being overwhelmed at the requirements is proof that I am healing (mentally anyway....lol) I will post pics as I figure out how. This site is so supportive, I knew you guys would understand! Thanks!!

better4me posted 5/30/2013 13:11 PM

LOVE this! I've been pissing and moaning about lawn maintenance (all by myself??--whine) and your success, hard work and determination encourages me. Thank you.

kernel posted 5/30/2013 18:50 PM

Whoohoo! You're tougher than I am. I have decided that lawn mowing in summer and snow removal in winter is as far as I am going to go. I used to have pretty extensive flower beds before infidelity destroyed my old life, but I just can't go back to it. Not to mention, can't really afford it.

Yep, YAY for old chicks, of which I am definitely one. My old chick accomplishment is that I waded through the whole process of hiring a reputable contractor to replace my roof and now I have a new, non-leaking roof and it was on budget. Such a relief and I was terrified about it.

Yay welcome 14 and all other old chicks!

welcome14 posted 5/30/2013 20:01 PM

It is amazing what we can do when we are forced to, isn't it? The first few days that I was left alone by WXF I remember collapsing into a pile of leaves I was trying to get rid of and thinking I could never, ever take care of all of this myself. That was three and a half years ago. Now, this is my second time on the tour (the first was with him) and I am figuring it all out- from plumbing in the pond issues to replacing the sand filter head by myself. The interwebs are so awesome! Google anything or youtube it and there is a video or how to! When I physically recover I will be mentally empowered! I tilled and put in the garden and watered it last night, I don't need twenty tomato plants or four kinds of peppers or need to put up two gallons of salsa, but I will just because I know he drives by the house everyday and I want him to embrace the personal hell for him to see that my life went on exactly as it did before just without him. He still tries to hit on me fairly regularly....new wifey not as awesome as me maybe? Haha. Suck it up, buttercup. I am fine without you. Best revenge ever. And my biceps do rock...as a previous poster said. We will all be much stronger and better after we survive this trial by fire. Thank God for Deeply Scared and Mangled Heart and SI. My Heroes.